Posted by Kimberly Rex
What is Family Systems? (Insight from a Therapist)
What is the Family Systems Process?
The Family Systems process works to create inner peace through healing inner conflict that is present in the unconscious of your family system patterns. The process works to heal inner conflict in identity, purpose, unresolved emotions and stress, past trauma, painful relationships, ill health, and depleted life energy. According to Bert Hellinger, 80% of your personal issues have a root in your family system. The family has its own soul and knows the deep-down realities of its members. This is translated unconsciously from generation to generation through underlying beliefs, attitudes, loyalties, and patterns of living.
Why is the information from the past so powerful?
For thousands of years, we have been very dependent on each other in our families for food, shelter, protection, and nurturing. Challenges and difficulties such as floods, droughts, famines, and wars deepened the need for closeness.
Survival of communities meant that every person had to do what they could to make the life of the group or tribe safe. This need made it important to step in and care for each member. Through loyalty and systemic rules, the survival of all was more easily accomplished.
Family Systems Rules
- All members have an equal right of belonging. Everyone must be given an equal right of membership. When a family member is excluded or lost, the system holds a space for that person energetically.
- Parents are the big ones, and children are the little ones. When this is expressed energetically, there is a grounding in life and openness to receive what is best for us. This is why it is so important to take your parents. There is an order for generations, partners, parents, and siblings. This creates the ability to take the vital energy from your biological family store, the lessons of your ancestry, and the experience with the wisdom to do something with it. In Hellinger’s words, “You are able to face life.”
- Identification: If a family member carries the burden of an excluded member, this happens through following or compensation. By doing so, the person gives a place in the system for the missing. This can show up through illness, or a repeated pattern of the excluded member’s life.
- Giving a Place for Victims and Perpetrators: Without healing the Violence Cycles of war, unresolved conflict, abuse, and shame, it is not possible to use the information to heal your inner conflict. It is important to give both the victim and perpetrator a place in your family system so you can use that information to learn from it and change direction in your life.
Giving a place to the wisdom in your system heals the separation within yourself and all of the cultural, religious, language, and social groups of your family system. When this happens, it brings personal inner peace and has a rippling effect in healing your relationship with the world.
“We must bow down before the mystery of life so that we can face life and do something good with it.” –Bert Hellinger
Resonance Repatterning® sessions include Family Systems as a discipline. The healing that comes from this work is extraordinary. Accessing the unconscious material of the energetic soul of the family through the process, even by phone, it identifies and transforms this material throughout the generations. Clients experience a significant change in energy levels, sense of well-being, and health as a result of this work.
Once you shift your resonance and perception of what is happening within, new doorways and possibilities open. You can listen for guidance, take action and follow your heart. New possibilities await when you are awake to them.
Here is an opportunity to continue on the path with monthly healing modalities and repatterning events from Windows to the Heart Repatterning.
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