Posted by Kimberly Rex

Showing Compassion to Your Body for Self-Worth

Showing compassion to your body is connected to the quality of your self-worth. The importance of being loved and valued for who you are, what you feel, and how you are seen and heard is connected to your self-worth.

Shame can damage the bridge to compassion for yourself and self-worth. This bridge can be damaged early in life when a parent or authority figure yells, neglects, abuses, or ignores the needs of a child.

Because the need for connection is so strong, shame serves as a survival response when the connection between others and the self is broken. The need to bond with safety and trust needs to be rebuilt by the parent or caretaker. When this doesn’t happen, the child takes the burden of attempting to regain connection, acceptance, and bonding by trying to earn love. This comes from the child not feeling worthy and left feeling that somehow they need to rebuild the bridge to connection.

The outcomes of this need to reconnect can manifest in your body through anxiety, depression, withdrawal, isolation, substance abuse, attempt to be perfect, lying, self-loathing, trying to please others, fit in, self-harm, or expressing itself in PTSD or eating disorders. These attempts to bond or disappear can sometimes hide repressed anger, grief, rage, and sadness for early unmet needs for connection.

Start Where You Are to Rebuild Compassion in Your Body for Self-Worth

Get in touch with the impact of shame and body oppression created by family, culture, authority figures, age, racism, body shape, size, and color of your skin, religion, and language. Identifying the sources of the shame you feel and your survival strategy reactions allows you to begin to process what has been hidden or oppressed. The truth is that not only is your self-worth and image influenced by the outside world, and this becomes your identity, Shame is also internalized in a way that you embody the negative consequences of degradation and oppression with your beliefs, thoughts, self-talk, and actions toward yourself and, in turn, how you see or experience others.

Identify How Your Body is Expressing Your Need for Compassion for Your Self-Worth

Trauma experiences related to body oppression can lead to the survival strategies of submission, separation, silence, or secrecy. It is expressed in how you hold your body, your gestures, posture, tone of voice, breathing, how you take space and support, and facial expressions. It is also expressed in what you wear, the music you listen to, the art, and the rituals in your life.

“Conditions of worth are circumstances when “self-experience is avoided (or sought) solely because it is less (or more) worthy of self-regard.”~Carl Rogers

Notice How You Respond to the Outside World

Your life experiences have molded over time into what you experience today. If you are a people-pleaser avoiding self-care, or giving up your inner values to express a different image in your relationships with choices that neglect your truth, it points to your need to bring compassion to your self-talk, beliefs, and ideas about your true nature. Acknowledging how your body has carried you through life, its strengths, and its wisdom to meet your life and spirit needs is essential for building the bridge to self-compassion in the present based on your true personal worthiness.

Sankofa, a symbol from Ghana, is the idea that it is important Sankofa to reflect on the past to build a successful future. Going back to retrieve the gifts that your body offers you an egg that can rebuild your own body authority in how you perceive your value and needs in life today.

Your body will allow you to become familiar with these parts that have held shame and a sense of unworthiness. When you experience shame, you are more focused on what others expect and want from you rather than considering your own essential needs. Tuning into how you devalue or give value to your self-worth through the eyes of others is an act of reparation. Working with boundaries with the outside world is a good place to begin to foster greater self-care and compassion for your body and self-worth.

Fostering loving messages from within, ideal mentors, a loving friend, or finding the ancestral connection to your need for love and connection through Family Systems Resonance Repatterning sessions can benefit your ability to connect to the compassionate messages you need. Releasing the burden of carrying the life work of others in your system benefits your ability to face life with your own truth and energy to remember and reclaim your true self-worth in the present to create new possibilities.

Responding to Life Today with Compassion for Your Self-Worth

As you give space to the messages you receive from your body, you can become ever more aware of how it can serve you today building a new bridge into greater self-awareness about how it can serve you. It allows you to breathe, digest, rest, process information, move, transport energy, circulate blood, fluids, hormones, neurotransmitters, and also to take action.

The shift to compassion will benefit you in hearing the messages from your own body when you feel overwhelmed, attacked, or feel the sensations of guilt that tug at you. From these signals, you can begin to allow your body to guide you to set boundaries with the outside world when you experience unease or dissonance with the words, actions, or behaviors of others. This allows you to consider what you need in any given moment or situation. In this way, you connect to your body’s strengths of compassion, love, nurture, protection, and true self-worth.

This is your invitation to benefit from a compassionate process that builds your self-worth. Resonance Repatterning sessions work with your body-mind-spirit system to create greater self-worth and compassion by working with the information stored within your body..

Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy. Set up your personal session here.

Find out more about how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.

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Posted by Kimberly Rex

Fall is a Good Time to Show Your True Colors

Fall is a good time to show your true colors. Like the leaves in fall that lose their green due to the reduction of chlorophyll in their fibers from a reduction of sunlight, they begin to show their true underlying colors of red, orange, and yellows in every shade. It is an invitation for you to look inward to your true value. It is also a good time to look at what you can no longer tolerate. This comes from the pairing of inspiration and letting go to allow your true colors to shine through.

Metal Element becomes prominent in the season of fall. As with any transition, the changes you experience in this season vary from changes in the amount of sunlight you experience daily, to cooler temperatures, and changes in your activity levels.

In this season, plants put their energy into their roots while letting go of the past season to set new leaf buds for a new season with renewed light. So it takes grounding to activate potential with the correct resources and time. Letting go of what no longer serves your life as the trees do as fall progresses points to the message that balance and harmony within means releasing what no longer benefits your life while also creating new ways of preparing for new possibilities.

Taking Inventory of Your True Colors

It is time to look at what keeps you grounded and rooted, and consider what keeps you stuck in a mode of not expressing your truth in your values and communication. So it is a good time to ask yourself, “How do I put myself down or diminish myself?”

Criticism can keep you from taking action whether it be toward another person or within yourself. Looking at where you stand in the victim stance that reflects a lack of self-worth, or expecting yourself or another to be perfect can keep you in a place that creates behaviors that interfere with your ability to know that you are learning and a work in progress. Fall can be a time to take inventory and take an insight into creating positive self-talk and building a growth mindset.

Anxiety, anger, shame, or guilt can keep you from staying with a growth mindset. Sometimes locked in traumatic experiences where you did not have the support or resources from others to transform abuse can still have an influence on how you experience the world today.

This shows up in your adult relationships where triggers and patterns in relationships mimic the earlier traumatic experiences out of vulnerability and lack of experience with access to positive resources in the present for resolving or transforming the trauma experience from the past. However, resonating with inner resources within parts of yourself that stay present to your inner needs with care and compassion allows you to consider new possibilities.

Letting Go to Show Your True Colors

Letting go related to grief is the prominent non-coherent emotion to work with related to the Metal Element and Fall. On the physical level, grief can be registered from past losses. Your energy can be depleted in your lungs and show up as respiratory congestion and difficulties with letting go in the large intestines with constipation. So it is a good time to ask yourself, “What is my purpose in life?” and, “How can I connect to my purpose spiritually or in the world?”

Grief can keep you facing away from life and the inner value of the meaning from your loss to transform into love and compassion for your ability to face life again by taking the roots, love, and lessons from your experience to create the energy of love within to set buds for life with the wisdom and heart to take forward when you are ready. In this way, you can find light in the journey through the darkness.

Sessions that Focus on Your True Colors

This is your personal invitation to root yourself, find the value in your life, and set your buds for new possibilities. Give yourself the gift of inspiration for new possibilities for either a Living On Purpose or Letting Go for Good Repatterning with these links.

Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy.

Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.

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Posted by Kimberly Rex

Transforming the Cracks in the Vase

Challenging and traumatic experiences can create cracks in the vase within your body-mind-spirit system. Some cracks might be physical injuries. However, emotional, mental, and injury to your sense of self also create cracks. Some challenges in your life have been resolved successfully. Other traumatic challenges feel like open wounds within. These parts have not experienced the release or completion of the mobilized energy required to return to greater harmony and balance. When this happens, the trauma lives on and it is as if you are frozen in trauma time without any way to make sense of or to mend what you have experienced.

The Embodiment of the Cracks in the Vase

Early challenging family experiences get tied to your need for safety and bonding. In fact, these early patterns of attachment get played out in social bonding patterns throughout life. As a little one, you experienced first attachment, and this gets translated into your Social Engagement System with your interactions throughout life. This includes patterns in business, relationships, and groups to which you belong. If your body-mind system pairs neglect, anger, or danger with early needs for bonding and attachment, this binds you to this bonding pattern and impacts the blueprint for your relationships throughout life. This shows up as anxiety or avoidance instead of your ability to experience security, safety and trust in your relationships.

“We live in a world that has a cognitive bias and assumes that our actions are voluntary. We are confronted with questions related to motivation and outcome. We are asked about costs, risks, and benefits. However, state shifts in the neural regulation of the autonomic nervous system are usually not voluntary, although the state shifts have a profound impact on behavior. The state shifts occur in a more reflexive manner when we are confronted by specific cues in the environment.”
~Stephen W. Porges

Taking the journey of healing within begins with examing those unconscious parts of yourself from your stressful or traumatic earlier experiences. They actually take a great deal of life energy with the overlapping fight, flight, freeze blueprint patterns that contribute to relationships without safe or close bonding, abusive interactions without trust, codependence, or inability to feel like you are enough.

This protection and management might show up as frustration, anxiety, fear, anger, repetitive and painful relationship experiences, inability to discern danger, or difficulties making decisions. Trauma impacts your thoughts, your Nervous System, your gut, your immune system, your beliefs, and your ability to navigate life with safety and trust.

These inner parts can be held in place by guilt from the negative messages you received as a child. Tied to the core rules of your family, taking the burden of the system’s belief system can limit your ability to face life fully. Guilt for actions you did or did not take and words you regret can keep you tied to negative earlier experiences. It can influence how you relate to your Family System by expanding or breaking your group’s rules. This leads to systemic guilt, however, when met with a shift in perspective, can lead to greater freedom

. Shame can also result in a pervasive sense that you are fundamentally bad, wrong, or broken. Whether is a family pattern or you take the burden of the system that judges your inner being and worth make it difficult to expand into a new awareness or to move on.

However, these parts and how you responded in life were efforts to meet basic life needs for safety, respect, love, purpose, and meaning at any given point in time.

“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”~Leonard Cohen

Transforming the Cracks in the Vase

Resonance Repatterning®sessions allow you to connect the dots from the past to the present. It becomes clear where the root causes, relationships, and experiences are replaying in trauma time in the present. Whether it be in an intimate relationship where abuse is happening in the same way you experienced it as a young child, or in a business relationship where the pattern of sabotage is happening due to family patterns of loss or shame in the present, realizing that you are recycling the same patterns gives you greater freedom of choice.

“Every next level of your life will demand a different you.” ~Leonardo DiCaprio

Sometimes things feel worse at the beginning before they get better. This is borne out of working with the pain of your experiences that have been hidden for your own protection. However, it is in this very process of working to heal the cracks in the vase that self-acceptance is forged to create greater personal empowerment. How you responded in life at earlier times were efforts to meet basic life needs for safety, respect, love, purpose, and meaning from the perspective and point of view at the time. Self-acceptance and forgiveness contribute to reclaiming emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual real estate to interact with the world.

The transformation process includes the essentials of self-love. It is asking yourself if you can love yourself at the moment for the experiences of your past including all the time spent in suspension with what you know today you could be, choose, and live free of the constriction that your negative experiences, feelings, relationships, thoughts, and choices created.

Bringing Gold to the Cracks in the Vase

When you look at the word evolution, you can see the word, love at the beginning. The word leans into the process of creating the word and comes from within. Seeing things in new ways literally comes from opening to new perspectives created from the internal positive changes you bring to your awareness. Bring gold to the cracks in the vase to allow the light to enter your body-mind-spirit system. By doing so, you are then able to turn things around and radiate your own light and love. This happens because you resonate with the freedom to be yourself more fully.

The truth is, the time is always here and you can begin now. Time is of the essence to relax, rest and update the changes you need to transform your life. It is this place that allows emptiness and also fullness. The need for attention to yourself with all of your parts allows wholeness to emerge in new ways.

It is time to speak and move from a place of what is emerging as your truth from within. Know that you will take care of these needs that have been submerged or hidden in the cracks in the vase. Get to know and listen to your gut, your mind, and your body. Have compassion for places where you have made errors, and give earlier parts of yourself credit for doing the best they could at the time, for protecting you. Take the lessons and use them. Take the wisdom from your mistakes so you can learn from them with your ability to respond from a greater place of integrity and sovereignty today.

Give yourself permission to say “No,” to change your mind, or to take a pause so you can make space for emptiness. Build a new library of responses to life on your terms. At the same time, say “Yes,” to life when it really feels good to you, and revel in the wonder of fullness. Experiment with new awareness, knowledge, inspiration, gratitude, and spontaneity. Allow joy, fun, beauty, and pleasure a place in your experience and in your being.

Shine the light on what you truly need and what you would do to be the author of your own life aligned with love. As you do so, this also allows you to know what safety and trust feel like and this allows you to be more at ease to take action and communicate from your gold standard with more life-enhancing choices for yourself, with others, and in the world.

Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy.

Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.

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Posted by Kimberly Rex

What Keeps You Separated from Love?

What Keeps You Separated from Love? That’s the question. Connecting to love creates life-enhancing benefits for your health, wellness, and well-being. Love is essential from the beginning of your life affecting how you perceive yourself, others, and the world. In places where you feel disconnected, the journey of reconnection can be resolving fear, anger, and shame.

1. Fear Keeps You Separated from Love

From the start of your life, you rely on bonding, safety, and trust to get your needs met by your mother and caretakers. The nurture between mother and child promotes oxytocin hormone, the long-term bonding neurotransmitter that creates an overall sense of wellness and well-being for nurture, safe connection as well as an exploration of the world. Unresolved bonding-separation stress can create tension and fear that result in long-term insecure, anxious, or avoidant behaviors. These behaviors create repetitive life-depleting relationship patterns that leave you feeling stuck or frozen in life. Fear keeps you from taking love within yourself and in your relationships with others.

Changing your response to stressful experiences that trigger you is possible today to release past trauma that constricts your life energy. This allows your body-mind-spirit system to restore more calm and peace to learn how to retrain your responses to life to experience love.

2. Anger Keeps You Separated from Love

The frustration that can arise from not having your needs for love, belonging, connection, and nurture met can create what feels like gaping holes in your being. However, this anger and frustration can also point you to the doorway to resolve the past while creating the potential for meeting these unmet needs in the present.

Anger narrows your vision of what is happening in front of you. Your survival and emotional brains (unconscious processing) will look for confirmation of behaviors, traits, and patterns that trigger reenactment in order to resolve earlier traumatic experiences or keep you in fight or flight mode.

3. Shame from the Past Keeps You Separated from Love

Shame separates you from love through seeing yourself as only a person with flaws or imperfections. This can be a sense of disconnect from life through your culture’s or family’s rules. It can be led by guilt related to times where you reacted out of fear or anger. It can keep you from knowing or experiencing life beyond forgiveness for the parts of your life that have been excluded or hurt. Shame can separate you from other parts of your being and life itself through misunderstanding or not knowing how to get your basic needs for love acknowledged in an inclusive, respectful, energizing, safe, and trustworthy way.

“Love yourself-accept yourself-forgive yourself-and be good to yourself because without you the rest of us are without the source of many wonderful things.”~Leo Buscaglia

When you are able to see yourself with respect and regard for all of your life’s experiences, the good you bring to life along with the “mistakes” your mind believes you made along the way this is possible. Looking through the lens of living your life as a spiritual journey in the classroom of life, you are better able to consider new experiences, connections, and diverse points of view by seeing the bigger picture for new possibilities.

Relationships teach us about ourselves. We attract and experience connection with other people in a variety of ways~all of them opportunities for growth and transformation. Conflict shows up in the midst of issues related to the need for power and control, closeness and care, respect and recognition. The issues that show up in your adult relationships relate back to your first connections and how the needs for safety, trust, bonding, and exploration were interrupted or blocked. These unmet needs created longing, loss, and interference with self-expression.

Whether it be the relationship you have with an intimate partner, a friend, a coworker or someone who lives in your neighborhood, all of these interactions are opportunities to work with the material that has kept you bound or separate from loving yourself more fully. Each person is a teacher and can be a mirror of light into a deeper recognition of something inside that matches the need for understanding, love, and compassion.

There is no other than a different version of yourself. ~Esther Perel

Wherever you are today, isolated, sad, frustrated, or exhausted, it is time to know that your Greater Self is able to take the higher lessons from your awareness of what you have experienced. By moving from conflict to empathy the pathway to love is energized so that you can take what benefits your growth, self-expression, and needs for self-care.

Through working with your experiences from relationships through time, you can begin to realize that these parts and their voices contribute to expanding your awareness of your Greater Self so that you are able to give comfort, calm, and truth to your inner world so that you resonate with a greater spectrum of experiences in your relationships.

Resolving the inner life-depleting patterns that keep you from love creates the capacity to create a new way of interacting with others. Instead of making your relationship carry the burden of your earlier experiences, you create a new template for self-care with greater integrity, joy, and love. This is expressed in your communication and choices, as this enhances your ability to bond in healthy ways that are life-enhancing for you and reflected back in others.

It is possible to work with earlier experiences related to attachment with Resonance Repattenring®sessions to transform and update the unconscious material related to-verbal trauma still stored in your survival and emotional brain today as these aspects of memory are stored so that the relevance of your experience today that respond in the same way through the fight, flight or freeze behaviors.

Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, by phone, in-person, and by proxy.

Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.

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Posted by Kimberly Rex

Taking the Compassionate Journey of Healing Within

I attended a conference in Mexico over a decade ago where a speaker talked about the necessary journey in our lives. She talked about healing within as your spiritual journey through life.

This evolution is more of a spiral than a straight line. So bringing mindfulness, kindness, and understanding to your life is essential to reach your heart through joys, trials, and challenges so you take part in creating your own destiny through the compassionate journey of healing within.

This journey shows up in the appointments you have with essential learning that are brought to the surface to metabolize emotions in the process of your being human on this planet where there is so much to process.

The threshold of learning happens where and when you are challenged with external events that are paired with an inner conflict related to your feelings, attitudes, and beliefs. Some events in our lives seem to have greater gravitational force than others. Events of great joy, as well as great sorrow, take you into deeper dialogue with your soul, to the questions about the meaning of your own life and your purpose. These are particular times, no matter how difficult it seems related to the cultural, familial, and gender expectations of you, you have the invitation to engage and embark on the adventure of taking the compassionate journey of healing within for growth and transformation.

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.  ~Brene Brown

Creating the Compassionate Journey with Courage and Acceptance

Challenges show up in relationships, obstacles, forks in the road, and seeming dead ends.  The Universe uses everything to involve you in the journey: relationships, situations, emotions, etc. The choices that present themselves when difficulties show up, messages, or learning is what it is attempting to get your attention to expand your awareness.

An issue might keep showing up and then escalate to create even more pain and intensity until you are ready to sit with the meaning of the need for significant inner change. I have fondly called this “the lesson of the 2 x 4.”    I say fondly because it is how much persuasion it takes to finally get that things are not working out no matter how many times attempted to get things to turn out another way.  You know the adage, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” ~ Unknown

Shame, guilt, hurt, anger, hopelessness, or fear can keep you from looking at another possibility for a new or broader vision of life. However, these feelings do point to the healing journey to transform us. It is important to work with these inner signals, to digest, metabolize and integrate them to take their higher lessons.  In a world where it is difficult to sit with anything or have time to process, taking time with your inner feelings is essential to create positive change in your wellness and well-being.

It’s very important that we re-learn the art of resting and relaxing. Not only does it help prevent the onset of many illnesses that develop through chronic tension and worrying; it allows us to clear our minds, focus, and find creative solutions to problems. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Many times the desire to make something work out with the perception of the past is based on re-acting out something that needs your attention to heal and update. You might not have had the support or nurture to work out the original pain or situation at the time. However, tuning into the place that makes you vulnerable today creates the openness that allows you to bring awareness to the underlying need, feelings, and beliefs that keep you entangled in the pattern from the past. It is essential to unlocking the lesson from your unhealed limiting earlier experience to change the patterns you are living in the present.

The truth is that your current experience of life is based on your beliefs, thoughts, and attitudes about yourself, the world, and others. When you change your perception of what you are experiencing within, you change how you interact and respond to life allowing you to live more from your potential through a greater connection to truth, love, and compassion for your inner needs and feelings. This, in turn, allows you to see more of your self. In doing so, you are then able to see more of others. Through empathy, your compassion ripples out into the world to create new connections and new possibilities for being in the world.

Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality, it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness. ~Eckhart Tolle

Building a Bridge to New Possibilities for Your Life

Resonance Repatterning® is a compassionate healing journey to unlock where, when, and how a limiting or depleting situation, belief, or attitude still affects your life today. There are processes within the protocols that diffuse and release the disrupted, blocked or constricted energy that limits your ability to find a new way of interacting with life. The process also includes fusing or returning energy to your body-mind system that has been lost through trauma, loss, shock, or pain so that you actually have more life energy to dedicate to the positive intentions you have for your life. This creates greater integrity in your wellness and well-being allowing you to experience more love, joy, a sense of hope, a feeling of being centered, and empowered.

Would you like to receive natural ways to build greater harmony and balance in your wellness and well-being? Here is an opportunity with monthly healing modalities and repatterning events from Windows to the Heart Repatterning.

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