Posted by Kimberly Rex
Using Stress to Transform Your Life
We all experience stress daily. Using stress to transform your life can shift the flow of thoughts that run through your mind. With intention and attention, you can use stress to benefit your experience of peace and well-being.
Major evnts related to concerning health diagnosis, losing a job, not getting a promotion, losing a loved one, a relationship breakup, or unexpected news or change that impacts your life can take a great deal of your energy and time to process.
Ongoing stressful thoughts can lead to greater anxiety, anger, worry, rumination, and fear. Cycling into these territories can be overwhelming when you do not feel that there is an end in sight. And this can disconnect you from your ability to see the big picture, problem-solve or to take action for your wellness and well-being.
Is Stress Moving Toward or Away from Life?
Distress tolerance is your ability to manage actual or perceived emotional distress. The aim and intention in these situations are to choose your response or reaction to this distress.
This begins with creating a conscious practice of asking yourself if your negative thought patterns move you away from life-enhancing patterns that allow you to face life or away from life through avoidance? And, do you want to change this pattern?
Examples of contrast might be the following:
- Spending time with people who give you positive energy or those who bring you down
- Forgiveness or feeding resentments within
- Self-love through creating boundaries with your words and actions or avoiding living your values in action
- Spending time in nature and appreciating beauty with gratitude or blaming yourself and others for what is happening
- Admiring your positive qualities and those of others or comparing yourself to others
“When we are no longer able to change a situation~we are challenged to change ourselves.”~Viktor Frankl
Using Stress to Make Coherent Choices
Changing your inner self-talk and dialogue about what is happening starts with intention and attention. When negative thoughts about the past or future become invasive, it is a choice to either stay with the habitual negative thought, body and feeling pattern, or to become aware of their impact on how you are feeling and how this affects you.
“It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.”~ Hans Selye
Once you make it a habit to change the ongoing pattern of cycling negative thoughts, your body, and emotions will have the opportunity to shift. This conscious choice allows for new possibilities in your wellness and well-being, even if this is for a short time.
Using Stress to Build New Pathways
Creating new pathways takes practice. This means that both your intention and attention are needed. What if you could take control of your thoughts by using using these questions to your advantage? Here are two actiities that you can put easily in place.
- Establish a daily routine of checking in with yourself. This can be done at the beginning of the day, and also be used throughout the day. Setting up specific times of the day to check in with yourself either by schedule or using sticky notes in prominent places you can tune into what your body and mind are processing at eny given time. This creates a conscious noticing of what is going on within. You can use this as a barometer during the day, and then get a reading on how your thoughts are influencing how your mood, energy and focus are responding to life.
- When you find yourself cycling into worry, anxiety, fear or depression, take a few moments to get in touch with what is happening. A simple way to start the process is to ask yourself three questions. “What am I thinking right now?”“What am I feeling right now?” and “Do I want to continue with these thoughts?” Becoming the observer of your current state of being you are better able to navigate what comes next in your life with greater options.
- Chinese Medicine speaks to the importance of keeping your energy flow in harmony and balance for your health and well-being. The suggestion is to pay attention to your emotions when they come up.but to also limit the effects of the negative state. By first working with the (3) questions, and then taking action with a mindfulness activity, you are able to use stress to change your life.
The opportunity to create a shift in perception with mindfulness activities such as a short meditation or breathing practic, journaling, yoga, Qigong, gratitude, looking out the window at a tree or flower, walking in nature, experiencing beauty and good nurture, listening to an inspirational talk, reading, or soothing music. These are “supplements for your body and mind”, and they can energize, reset and tonify your body-mind system.
“No mud, no lotus.”~Thich Nhat Hanh
Mindfulness practices allow you to tap into the energetics of awe, beauty, and pleasure that expand your awareness and diminish your stress. When you resonate with choosing what you will focus on you become the author of you own life and in the short term allows you to lower your stress while building new responses in your body-mind sytem over time.
Once you have answered these questions, chosen a mindful activity to change your internal landscape, your enhance your ability to access your conscious mind with a greater access to critical thinking, and decision-making. This allows you to consider a responsive action based on expanded and focused vision so you can then choose to focus your time and energy on the task at hand, brainstorming, problem-solving, setting boundaries, getting support and planning that will benefit your wellness and well-being.
Resonance Repatterning® Sessions are based on working with your ability to repattern your body-mind-spirit system. This means that the distress you experience on any level can be an opportunity for creating new possibilities in your life.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, by phone, and by proxy.
Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.
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Hosting Love Within
Hosting love in your life starts from within. This is created by nourishing safety and trust in your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs you choose to communicate and act upon in any given moment . It is rooted in self-love, setting healthy boundaries, self-reflection and self-regulation.
“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.” ~Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Hosting Love Begins with Self-Love
Self-love leads to self care. This means that you develop compassion for your life on the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual levels. By doing so you embrace all of the parts of yourself that experienced pain as well as the parts that have been there for you when you needed to meet challenges. Being able to listen to what is happening within gives you information that supports your beliefs, thoughts and behaviors that have molded your life, as well as giving you a template to work with to sculpt the new life you would like to experience
Early in life, your response systems to stress were structured by what you learned from your family and caregivers. Difficulty loving yourself shows up in your adult relationships when you have experienced a painful experiences created by absence, inconsistency, or abuse that instilled a lack of safety and trust.
As you learn to compassionately take care of your needs and wants in life today, you give yourself a way to ground and expand your awareness beyond your automatic responses. This allows you to be present in the moment with a more expansive view of what you are experiencing. It also then allows you to call up on these insights to see what is happening with other people.
Hosting Love with Healthy Boudaries
Boundaries are necessary for your health and well-being. Your body gives you signals that tell you when you feel elated or ill at ease. Your stomach might churn, your muscles tighten, and your heartbeat races. Over time when you do not establish boundaries based on what will create safety and security for your wellness and well-being, your body signals in stronger messages. This could include headaches, difficulty with digestion, physical mobility, or life-depleting conditions. These signals speak to you on the cellular level to express the need for establishing limits.
Through resonance on the unconscious level, you will continue to draw to you the relationships that contain the puzzle pieces of your early Social Engagement System.Your adult relationships will continue to give you the components of your first relationship with your parents. The limiting embodied protective automatic responses will create anxiety, stress, mistrust, fear of being vulnerable, emotional unavailability, neediness, or caretaking,
Your system might have learned to tough it out, tolerate or ignore signals that indicate danger or boundary crossing due to conflict resolution styles of your parents, abandonment, separation, loss, traumatic experiences or addiction to guard against pain.
Today, as an adult, when faced with the need to set a healthy boundary in your life for yourself or with others, you might not speak up, lash out, isolate, leave, or attempt to please the other to keep the peace. Your system defaults to early and habitual patterns you learned to handle trauma.
Loving yourself gives you the ability to connect to others in new ways that create discernment, safety and trust. It allows you to trust your internal feelings, body sensations and values. By doing so you create a healthy environment for trusting yourself and others that are worthy of trust, moving toward what is life-enhancing or away from what is life-depleting to allow healthy bonding and connection with self-care and boundaries in place.
Anatomy of Trust with B.R.A.V.I.N.G. from Brene’ Brown
Hosting Love with Self Reflection
Hosting love with self-reflection is key to healing limiting beliefs, thoughts and automatic reactions is through bringing to awareness or making conscious how these limiting patterns established through your life and Family System. Your parents and likely their parents experienced these life-depleting ways of dealing with closeness and conflict. You received this teaching through their words, actions and behaviors. The resulting negative beliefs get projected onto your adult relationships with automatic limiting beliefs such as “Love causes pain,”You cannot trust (fill in the blank),” It is my fault,” “They will leave me,”“Love hurts.” (They is used to represent any type of relationship).
It is important to acknowledge that you have the ability to work with and change these automatic reactions from the past by examining the roadmap of these patterns when they come up.According to Gabriella Kortsch, PhD, self-regulation starts with your intention and desire to become aware enough to be reflective with your ability to notice how you are perceiving whatever is happening. This includes your ability to notice how you are reacting and interpreting what is happening through your thoughts, feelings and inner dialogue. This awareness then leads you to remembering that you have choices about next steps throughout the entire process, and you can choose what is good for your own life.
Hosting Love with Self Regulation/Soothing
Taking time to self-reflect is vital to hosting love within.This is where choices show up. Triggers show up in everyone’s life. Smoking, drinking, binging, shopping, high risk or adrenalin rising behaviors, overeating, shopping, binge watching movies, workaholism, etc. can be external go-to’s when unease arises. While this might work on a short term basis, this doesn’t lead to resolving the issues so you can experience something new in your life related to what you would truly like to experience.
How you regulate your response to triggers that create agitation, anxiety, fear, grief and pain that numb or delay the pain temporarily feeds the established neural pathways of pain from the past, or you can choose natural ways to create nurture and support within.
Hosting love by choosing natural ways to self-soothe to create calm in your system trains your body-mind-spirit system by regulating how you respond to stress leads to greater wellness and well-being for the long-term. You are designed for self-healing. Focusing on new go-to’s that respond to the question, “Is this kind?” while considering next steps is a great way to work with Self-Reflection.Will the response you choose lead to new healing pathways within by activating your Sympathetic Nervous System (rest, digest, calm, and heal)? Will the choices strengthen your ability to host more love within as you navigate your life and relationships?
The following two articles give you some ideas for this purpose:by finding neutral to create positive change in your life and using your innate senses to create natural endorphin stress responses. You can explore this website for other natural modalities including breath, movement, acupressure, meditation, gratitude, aromatherapy, light, sound, etc. for more ideas.
Posted by Kimberly Rex
Energize Your Health, Energize Your Relationships
You are an electromagnetic being. When you energize your health, you energize your relationships. Your life energy is established through the relationship between the electrical charges that surround muscles, bones, organs, and tissues. Your heart is regulated by an electrical nerve bundle. Your brain emits electrical brain waves. The cells and atoms of your body rely on the capacity to adapt and thrive based on electric charge. In fact, the quality of health you are experiencing today is directly related to communication quality between the energy circuits of your body-mind system.
Your body-mind field is always interacting with the field around it. That means that your wellness and sense of well-being are related. Relationships, whether they are business-related, family, friendship, or intimate work in the same way. They are energy circuits. Energize them with coherent communication, limits, and motivation to return to greater coherence and optimal life energy, and they thrive!
If there is a disruption or blockage in your health or relationship through miscommunication, unresolved conflict, or lack of appreciation, your experience of love or well-being changes. Either way, a disruption or blockage of energy equals pain.
Energize Your Health with Love
Love is the motivating force that energizes life and influences the power of relationships. The light, sound, and expression of life energy thrive with care for your inner needs and feelings. In every relationship, there is an opportunity to expand awareness through a reflection of light and love, and the courage to open your heart. Resolving inner conflict within your physical, emotional, mental, and spirit body results in the potential for greater expression and capacity for love.
When there are unresolved issues from past experiences, that energy gets fed into the energy circuit of your relationships whether it is conscious or unconscious. This shows up in toxicity or dissonance as frustration, conflict, pain, suffering, or lack of fulfillment. In the same way, health issues are a product of what is circulated through your body-mind system through nutrition, habits, and self-care over time.
Energize Your Health in Your Relationships
The quality of life you experience at any moment is dependent on many factors. When you resonate with gratitude, appreciation, forgiveness, and love, you have a greater capacity for connection to others and for that connection to energize you. In a relationship, the expression of these same messages to another energizes your relationship to grow and flourish. When difficulties arise, as they do in life, drawing on the energy of joyful and loving experiences shared helps you to weather challenging situations.
Your health also depends on your ability to set limits. The purpose of your immune system is to discern what is self and what is other. Too much resistance however can show up as the inability of cellular systems to communicate with one another in your body. When there is an inability to discern self from others, the response can play out in a number of issues that show up on the emotional, mental, and physical levels. In relationships, this can show up as blame, feeling like a victim, or being out of control with your responses. The truth is that at any moment you can become more energized by taking responsibility for what you are contributing to the energy exchange happening within, and accepting where there is a need to make a change in behavior, thinking, or actions. Taking responsibility includes setting limits in situations that are hurting you personally. If you are stuck in a repeating pattern, it might be wise to seek support in looking at unconscious roots that still carry a highly-charged emotion or memory imprint.
Energize Your Health by Setting Limits
How you handle stress is directly related to how your body responds. Resonating with the ability to move through a challenging situation in a self-empowered way actually empowers your immune system. This can only be done when you are in touch with your own needs and feelings and are able to express these needs and feelings in a way that nurtures your energy circuit. This means communication is clear, tells the truth, and expresses care for the energy circuit of your relationship.
Finding ways to energize your own energy circuit include taking care of your body with good nutrition, grounding your energy with a connection to nature, meditation, allowing yourself to identify and process feelings, listening to calming music, exercising regularly, getting in touch with your breath and making space for yourself with downtime and hobbies you enjoy are just a few ways to stay connected to your own energy circuit. This also empowers you to create harmonizing energy for all your relationships.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy. Set up your personal session here.
Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.
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Coherence Creates Self-Awareness
Resonance Repatterning® creates coherence in your self-awareness. Greater coherence benefits your experience for a higher energy state potential in your body-mind-spirit system. This allows you to experience greater understanding and respond with positive actions that benefit your life, relationships, wellness, and well-being.
This happens through identifying and transforming your unconscious limiting beliefs, attitudes, and patterns with the resonance muscle-checking system combined with consciousness science to pinpoint where and when your system was blocked or interrupted. Working with coherent choices and updates allows you to step into and actualize your inner truth, values, and potential.
Personal Self-Awareness
Personal self-awareness allows you to meet what you are experiencing more fully. Becoming more aware of your inner strengths and weaknesses over time gives you the ability to be more in touch with what holds you back, as well as what you would like to create. This allows you to look at your inner story as well as the changes you have experienced in your life over time. Self-awareness makes it possible to evaluate life-depleting, stress-reducing, or avoidant behaviors still impacting your life today. This awareness is useful in asking what you would like to create with your life energy to harmonize and balance from where you have traveled to where you are now. (article)
Coherence in Relationship Self-Awareness
You can only experience as much of another or a situation to the degree you have worked with the emotion thought, or process yourself. Relationship coherence requires empathy, the ability to make space for the other in your awareness with compassion. As unconscious material from limiting earlier experiences stored in your early survival and emotional brain are transformed, it is possible to expand and embody new awareness and expand your ability to understand others. This allows you to observe others’ actions, words, body language, and interactions more clearly.
This benefits your personal awareness in a way that allows you to listen to what you are experiencing as you interact with others. This serves as a way to identify similarities or differences in communication styles, It also allows you to become more observant or trusting of your gut feelings or intuition. This happens by looking at how you are feeling and experiencing your interactions with others. Relationship awareness can give you feedback about what you move toward and where you move away from closeness. It can be an invitation to notice how you approach others individually or in groups, monitoring how you build closeness with your values intact from compassionate and coherent self-awareness.
“Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being.”~Marshall Rosenberg
Through coherent self-awareness, you are better able to observe group dynamics and interactions between members. This mindfulness within and with others can support you in observing the dynamics of group members related to the rules that “govern” the group. You can be mindful of how this affects your participation and how you feel about being a part of the group, where your values are tested or swayed, with what meaning this has for your overall well-being.
Coherent Self-Awareness creates the opportunity to take action with this feedback in a way that is both compassionate for yourself, your relationship, or your situation. Through acceptance with self-love, your awareness can create wisdom as you rely on the coherent teaching that each experience presents. Through coherent self-awareness, you have the opportunity to respond with a positive intention for growth and transformation in every experience you encounter.
Resonance Repatterning creates coherent self-awareness that affects how you meet life on a daily basis. Sessions give you the opportunity to transform limiting patterns in your life that affect your personal health, relationships, business, and vision for your life potential in a tailored holistic process that creates greater integrity in your wellness and well-being.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy.
Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.
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Listen to the Guidance Within
“Listen to the inner light, it will guide you. Listen to the inner peace, it will feed you. Listen to the inner Love, it will transform you.”~Sri Chinmoy
In the process of working with Resonance Repatterning sessions, you start to listen to the guidance within. Your inner light, peace, and love grow as you begin to take the time and space to access what is healthy, energizing, and life-enhancing for your life.
These three aspects of inner guidance allow you to work with what is coming up in your life from your core essence instead of being driven by unconscious patterns from your personal and Family Systems material when you resonate and are oriented to your inner light, peace, and love.
Through accessing and listening to your inner guidance, energy shifts from a Resonance Repatterning® session with follow-up Positive Actions continue to update your body-mind-spirit system.
Listen to the Inner Light
Light is a nutrient to your body-mind system. It supports cellular communication. In fact, according to Dr. Fritz-Albert Popp, a German Biophysicist, our entire metabolism depends on light. This speaks to the importance of the frequencies of light you take in through your eyes, skin, and food you eat. The translation of photons into bio-chemical communication within your body-mind-spirit system is dependent on this nurture. By using light and color purposefully in your life, you also positively affect our mood, well-being, and health. Your diet, the colors you wear, the color you take in from your environment, and what you wear makes a difference.
When you are disconnected from your inner light, you might feel depressed, have less energy, movement, and motivation. What you feed yourself in the way of food, your beliefs, thoughts, and responses to life either enhance the circulation of light within or depletes this vital force. This is one of the reasons that transforming limitations from unconscious negative habits, thoughts and beliefs make such a significant positive difference.
Accessing and listening to the guidance from your inner light comes through your body sensations, your state of mind, posture, movement, and levels of energy. Connecting to this feedback truly benefits your ability to monitor where you are and spotlight where you need clarity, relaxation, encouragement, support, and greater confidence. Your inner light can be accessed through mindful movement practices to ground and integrate your positive goals and life purpose as a resource for vitality, motivation, and perseverance.
Listen to the Inner Peace
Inner peace evolves from differences, and sometimes conflict. Finding the path to neutral from the Violence Cycles of life is a process. Putting down the criticism of self and blame of others so that the victim-perpetrator-rescuer cycles begin to cease is the road to non-violence.
This does not mean that getting or being hurt is not a valid place to process. It means that what you do with your inner communication, your actions and reactions are what leads either to more conflict or greater peace. Listening to inner peace speak is much more likely to come from your heart than your head. Limiting thoughts and beliefs can rule like a hammer that fragments your attention and dulls your ability to be present.
Spending time in your heart is a beautiful way to bring peace to your entire being. Getting in touch with your breath to bring your attention back to your center allows you to return to peace. Staying with the sensations in your heart and listening to your heart’s wisdom brings guidance that restores balance and harmony throughout your entire system.
“The only way we have of influencing the future is to own the present, however we find it.”
~ Jon Kabat-Zinn
Acknowledging the need for peace within softens the intensity of conflict by creating space for being able to see all of yourself more clearly. This means your feelings, your thoughts, and what is triggering you possibly from an earlier experience. This calms your entire body-mind-spirit system. It benefits your ability to widen the lens of your vision so you can then see more of your own needs and consider those of another person as well. At the same time, this can connect you directly to your unmet needs for greater compassion for all of your own life.
In the process, listening to the guidance of inner peace allows you to also forgive parts of yourself, and then consider divergent perspectives based on the fact that each person has their own history of pain and family systems mechanics that contribute to the situation. Seeing and listening to each person as a peer in their own power to take care of themselves with their own set of rules for the journey of life frees you to live your own life.
“Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being.”
~Marshall Rosenberg
Listen to the Inner Love
Inner love can be defined as self-care. This love allows you to include all of your experiences with struggles, grief, fear, challenges, seeming errors and successes from your past experiences, all of your body, and every part of yourself unconscious or conscious in the process of your spiritual journey.
Listening to all of these aspects supplies you with all the inner software and information you need to move toward what is life-enhancing. The unconditional love of the universe works with you to co-create, transform and support you in your journey. In taking the time to connect with love within and listening to its guidance you are better able to integrate those places within yourself that feel pain, trauma, or lack of connection. Through making time for self-care, comfort, connection, and support from within, you are better able to both discern and connect to others in more authentic bonding and nurturing ways.
Listening to inner love can also be about setting boundaries, realizing what needs to change, what feels uncomfortable, or what no longer fits into your life in a healthy way.
This means choosing situations, work, and communications that are based on trust, safety, and empowerment. It also means allowing yourself to experience life’s beauty, truth, wisdom, pleasure, joy, and curiosity. By doing so there is a greater balance and harmony in giving and receiving, nurture and support, all with permission to be LOVE, and who you truly are.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world by Skype, phone, and proxy.
Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.
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