Posted by Kimberly Rex
Using Stress to Transform Your Life
We all experience stress daily. Using stress to transform your life can shift the flow of thoughts that run through your mind. With intention and attention, you can use stress to benefit your experience of peace and well-being.
Major evnts related to concerning health diagnosis, losing a job, not getting a promotion, losing a loved one, a relationship breakup, or unexpected news or change that impacts your life can take a great deal of your energy and time to process.
Ongoing stressful thoughts can lead to greater anxiety, anger, worry, rumination, and fear. Cycling into these territories can be overwhelming when you do not feel that there is an end in sight. And this can disconnect you from your ability to see the big picture, problem-solve or to take action for your wellness and well-being.
Is Stress Moving Toward or Away from Life?
Distress tolerance is your ability to manage actual or perceived emotional distress. The aim and intention in these situations are to choose your response or reaction to this distress.
This begins with creating a conscious practice of asking yourself if your negative thought patterns move you away from life-enhancing patterns that allow you to face life or away from life through avoidance? And, do you want to change this pattern?
Examples of contrast might be the following:
- Spending time with people who give you positive energy or those who bring you down
- Forgiveness or feeding resentments within
- Self-love through creating boundaries with your words and actions or avoiding living your values in action
- Spending time in nature and appreciating beauty with gratitude or blaming yourself and others for what is happening
- Admiring your positive qualities and those of others or comparing yourself to others
“When we are no longer able to change a situation~we are challenged to change ourselves.”~Viktor Frankl
Using Stress to Make Coherent Choices
Changing your inner self-talk and dialogue about what is happening starts with intention and attention. When negative thoughts about the past or future become invasive, it is a choice to either stay with the habitual negative thought, body and feeling pattern, or to become aware of their impact on how you are feeling and how this affects you.
“It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.”~ Hans Selye
Once you make it a habit to change the ongoing pattern of cycling negative thoughts, your body, and emotions will have the opportunity to shift. This conscious choice allows for new possibilities in your wellness and well-being, even if this is for a short time.
Using Stress to Build New Pathways
Creating new pathways takes practice. This means that both your intention and attention are needed. What if you could take control of your thoughts by using using these questions to your advantage? Here are two actiities that you can put easily in place.
- Establish a daily routine of checking in with yourself. This can be done at the beginning of the day, and also be used throughout the day. Setting up specific times of the day to check in with yourself either by schedule or using sticky notes in prominent places you can tune into what your body and mind are processing at eny given time. This creates a conscious noticing of what is going on within. You can use this as a barometer during the day, and then get a reading on how your thoughts are influencing how your mood, energy and focus are responding to life.
- When you find yourself cycling into worry, anxiety, fear or depression, take a few moments to get in touch with what is happening. A simple way to start the process is to ask yourself three questions. “What am I thinking right now?”“What am I feeling right now?” and “Do I want to continue with these thoughts?” Becoming the observer of your current state of being you are better able to navigate what comes next in your life with greater options.
- Chinese Medicine speaks to the importance of keeping your energy flow in harmony and balance for your health and well-being. The suggestion is to pay attention to your emotions when they come up.but to also limit the effects of the negative state. By first working with the (3) questions, and then taking action with a mindfulness activity, you are able to use stress to change your life.
The opportunity to create a shift in perception with mindfulness activities such as a short meditation or breathing practic, journaling, yoga, Qigong, gratitude, looking out the window at a tree or flower, walking in nature, experiencing beauty and good nurture, listening to an inspirational talk, reading, or soothing music. These are “supplements for your body and mind”, and they can energize, reset and tonify your body-mind system.
“No mud, no lotus.”~Thich Nhat Hanh
Mindfulness practices allow you to tap into the energetics of awe, beauty, and pleasure that expand your awareness and diminish your stress. When you resonate with choosing what you will focus on you become the author of you own life and in the short term allows you to lower your stress while building new responses in your body-mind sytem over time.
Once you have answered these questions, chosen a mindful activity to change your internal landscape, your enhance your ability to access your conscious mind with a greater access to critical thinking, and decision-making. This allows you to consider a responsive action based on expanded and focused vision so you can then choose to focus your time and energy on the task at hand, brainstorming, problem-solving, setting boundaries, getting support and planning that will benefit your wellness and well-being.
Resonance Repatterning® Sessions are based on working with your ability to repattern your body-mind-spirit system. This means that the distress you experience on any level can be an opportunity for creating new possibilities in your life.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, by phone, and by proxy.
Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.
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Hosting Love Within
Hosting love in your life starts from within. This is created by nourishing safety and trust in your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs you choose to communicate and act upon in any given moment . It is rooted in self-love, setting healthy boundaries, self-reflection and self-regulation.
“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.” ~Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Hosting Love Begins with Self-Love
Self-love leads to self care. This means that you develop compassion for your life on the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual levels. By doing so you embrace all of the parts of yourself that experienced pain as well as the parts that have been there for you when you needed to meet challenges. Being able to listen to what is happening within gives you information that supports your beliefs, thoughts and behaviors that have molded your life, as well as giving you a template to work with to sculpt the new life you would like to experience
Early in life, your response systems to stress were structured by what you learned from your family and caregivers. Difficulty loving yourself shows up in your adult relationships when you have experienced a painful experiences created by absence, inconsistency, or abuse that instilled a lack of safety and trust.
As you learn to compassionately take care of your needs and wants in life today, you give yourself a way to ground and expand your awareness beyond your automatic responses. This allows you to be present in the moment with a more expansive view of what you are experiencing. It also then allows you to call up on these insights to see what is happening with other people.
Hosting Love with Healthy Boudaries
Boundaries are necessary for your health and well-being. Your body gives you signals that tell you when you feel elated or ill at ease. Your stomach might churn, your muscles tighten, and your heartbeat races. Over time when you do not establish boundaries based on what will create safety and security for your wellness and well-being, your body signals in stronger messages. This could include headaches, difficulty with digestion, physical mobility, or life-depleting conditions. These signals speak to you on the cellular level to express the need for establishing limits.
Through resonance on the unconscious level, you will continue to draw to you the relationships that contain the puzzle pieces of your early Social Engagement System.Your adult relationships will continue to give you the components of your first relationship with your parents. The limiting embodied protective automatic responses will create anxiety, stress, mistrust, fear of being vulnerable, emotional unavailability, neediness, or caretaking,
Your system might have learned to tough it out, tolerate or ignore signals that indicate danger or boundary crossing due to conflict resolution styles of your parents, abandonment, separation, loss, traumatic experiences or addiction to guard against pain.
Today, as an adult, when faced with the need to set a healthy boundary in your life for yourself or with others, you might not speak up, lash out, isolate, leave, or attempt to please the other to keep the peace. Your system defaults to early and habitual patterns you learned to handle trauma.
Loving yourself gives you the ability to connect to others in new ways that create discernment, safety and trust. It allows you to trust your internal feelings, body sensations and values. By doing so you create a healthy environment for trusting yourself and others that are worthy of trust, moving toward what is life-enhancing or away from what is life-depleting to allow healthy bonding and connection with self-care and boundaries in place.
Anatomy of Trust with B.R.A.V.I.N.G. from Brene’ Brown
Hosting Love with Self Reflection
Hosting love with self-reflection is key to healing limiting beliefs, thoughts and automatic reactions is through bringing to awareness or making conscious how these limiting patterns established through your life and Family System. Your parents and likely their parents experienced these life-depleting ways of dealing with closeness and conflict. You received this teaching through their words, actions and behaviors. The resulting negative beliefs get projected onto your adult relationships with automatic limiting beliefs such as “Love causes pain,”You cannot trust (fill in the blank),” It is my fault,” “They will leave me,”“Love hurts.” (They is used to represent any type of relationship).
It is important to acknowledge that you have the ability to work with and change these automatic reactions from the past by examining the roadmap of these patterns when they come up.According to Gabriella Kortsch, PhD, self-regulation starts with your intention and desire to become aware enough to be reflective with your ability to notice how you are perceiving whatever is happening. This includes your ability to notice how you are reacting and interpreting what is happening through your thoughts, feelings and inner dialogue. This awareness then leads you to remembering that you have choices about next steps throughout the entire process, and you can choose what is good for your own life.
Hosting Love with Self Regulation/Soothing
Taking time to self-reflect is vital to hosting love within.This is where choices show up. Triggers show up in everyone’s life. Smoking, drinking, binging, shopping, high risk or adrenalin rising behaviors, overeating, shopping, binge watching movies, workaholism, etc. can be external go-to’s when unease arises. While this might work on a short term basis, this doesn’t lead to resolving the issues so you can experience something new in your life related to what you would truly like to experience.
How you regulate your response to triggers that create agitation, anxiety, fear, grief and pain that numb or delay the pain temporarily feeds the established neural pathways of pain from the past, or you can choose natural ways to create nurture and support within.
Hosting love by choosing natural ways to self-soothe to create calm in your system trains your body-mind-spirit system by regulating how you respond to stress leads to greater wellness and well-being for the long-term. You are designed for self-healing. Focusing on new go-to’s that respond to the question, “Is this kind?” while considering next steps is a great way to work with Self-Reflection.Will the response you choose lead to new healing pathways within by activating your Sympathetic Nervous System (rest, digest, calm, and heal)? Will the choices strengthen your ability to host more love within as you navigate your life and relationships?
The following two articles give you some ideas for this purpose:by finding neutral to create positive change in your life and using your innate senses to create natural endorphin stress responses. You can explore this website for other natural modalities including breath, movement, acupressure, meditation, gratitude, aromatherapy, light, sound, etc. for more ideas.
Posted by Kimberly Rex
For Every Season Fall Repatterning
For every season there are many changes. This is an invitation to align your vision for life with grounding, hope, a sense of wellbeing and love on every pathway you experience. In this journey through the season of fall you’ll create personal insight and inspiration for transforming your own life in a supportive process through this changing world.
For Every Season Fall Repatterning Details
The For Every Season Fall Program is about to begin on September 1, 2024, and continue through the month of November.
The Fall Season will include September, October and November with the topics of creating Inspiration, Ability to Let Go of that Which No Longer Serves Your Life Journey, and Creating Harmony between Giving and Receiving in Relationships.
This process will give you the following activities for personal growth and reflection:
- Receive poetry with weekly reflections for each month based on topics of inspiration, letting go and creating harmony in giving and receiving in relationships
- Take part in a virtual 60-minute Group Resonance Repatterning where you can use the insight you experienced with your personal reflections to add to the Creating Harmony and Balance in Giving and Receing Repatterning.
- Enjoy an Expressive Arts Therapy Activity to create momentum for new opportunities and possibilities in your life
- Get all reflection and repatterning materials, recordings and directions delivered to your email address at the beginning of each month
How the For Every Season Repatterning Process Works
In September, this process starts with an inspirational poem with weekly reflections focusing on any issues related to the transition from summer to fall in your life. The month of October will focus on your aim and intentions in your life for new possibilities related to inspiration and letting go.
At the beginning of the November you will have the opportunity to use your reflections and intentions in the 60-minute group repatterning for letting go of any residual unfinished energetics interrupting your pathway related to the topics that came up in your personal reflections.The purpose of the repatterning process is to build more coherent life energy and motivation to achieve new possibilities. The follow-up from the session will include reflections with an expressive arts therapy activity based on the group repatterning to take the benefits of your work through the season into your life more fully for the rest of the year.
Registering for the For Every Season Process
This is your personal invitation to join this journey of personal growth and transformation.
*When you sign up for this program you will be asked to subscribe to a specific list that will give you all the information you need to take part in these beneficial activities. This list is solely for the purpose of this process.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy. Set up your personal session here.
Find out more about how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.
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Creating Coherence in Your Relationships
Creating coherence in relationships from the Resonance Repatterning perspective involves working with consciousness science. Sessions addresses different aspects of your life from interactions wih aquaintances, family, friends and intimate relationships. The quality of your experience is regulated by your beliefs, attitudes, and thoughts you hold at both the conscious and unconscious levels. This contributes to your perception, choices, reactions and actions over time.
Resonance Repatterning® works to increase the quality and coherence of your responses and actions with all types of relationship you encounter in your life. In the Energetics of Relationship collection of repatterning processes it is possible to work with charged issues you experience with a aquaintence or colleague. You can address challenging situtations you experience with a physical, emotional, mental friendship, or even with a spiritual or therapeutic relationship.
Your family relationships can be considered in your mothering, fathering, and child interactions, It is a beneficial process for working with couples in sexual and commited relationships. By working with birth, early attachment and family patterns, a session can identify any bonding or separation negative experiences that cast a shadow over your current relationships. It is by working in the present and with the patterns of your lifetime relationships that you can step into a new way of being in relationship as you free yourself from the pain of abandonment, disloyaliy, abuse, grief, fear or resentment.
Consciousness Science and Relationships
Creating coherence in your relationships in Resonance Repatterning is based on consciousness science. On source of the repatterning process is based on the Gottman’s research of relationship and family interactions over many decades. They found that five positive interactions for every one challenging interaction created the greatest success and longevity in relationships. This means five interactions with relaxing, constructive, loving, laughter-filled, eye-gazing, fun, touching and happy interactions balance out every one challenging, bond-threatening, irritating, or frustrating interaction.
It is not the conflict as much as how you resolve conflict that matters in this formula. It is how each person creates greater personal and relationship coherence. This can happen by taking a pause, giving yourself time and space to be better able to get in touch with what is happening within you, to identify your triggers, unmet needs, and to identify what action or communication is needed. .During this time you get in touch with the charged issue that is within you. This can lead to both personal and relationship understanding, mutual growth, and contribute to the vision for your relationship with love.
With the process of Resonance Repatterning, it is possible to transform inner conflict by taking a look at your primary conflict resolution style, and to identify where you feel you are not speaking your truth, or not living your truth in action. Working with the resistance with any type of interaction you are experiencing allows you to identify your values, take a look at your intentions, and realign with your true self.
The Discovery Process with Relationships
By creating coherence in your communication you can experience greater capacity for making positive change. Knowing more about yourself can also give clues as to how your partner, friend or colleague reacts or responds to you in conversation and this would allow you to better understand their responses.
You can discover what your true values are for relationships, as well as how to apply your values to bonding and self-care that work best for you. People who have experienced difficult relationships in the past might still be triggered by them in the present. In these cases, it is important to work with releasing the burden that is still carried from negative earlier experiences to be able to move into new possibilitie for creating coherence in your relationships.
Resonance Repatterning sessions work with creating inner safety in relationships by transforming suppressed negative relationship imprinted images that trigger them from the past that hold the blockage to being in the present more fully. Other repatternings in this group of Energetics of Relationship session work with developmental phases that support more coherence in the process of forming loving and bonding relationships.
Identifying what keeps you separated from love allows you to choose a new direction that creates greater wellness and well-being for your life. This harmony and balance contributes to the coherent loving energy in your relationships.
This is your personal invitation to experience the benefits of Resonance Repatterning to heal relationships in your life. Through the process of working with resonance muscle-checking, your body-mind-spirit system reports what is most needed to build coherence in your body-mind-spirit system. You can schedule an appointment here.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, by phone, in-person, and by proxy.
Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.
Read MorePosted by Kimberly Rex
Creating Life Energy: A Message from Eagles
The eagle’s life cycle story is a message for us all in regards to reclaiming and creating life energy even in the depths of winter’s cold and gray. Over the New Years Weekend, I made my annual winter pilgrimage up to the North Nooksack River in the Cascade Mountains to see the Bald Eagles in the early morning. Even though the dawn light did not make it easy to spot them at the beginning, you could hear their sounds from the trees on the banks of the river. They return to their nests built along the river that holds a plentitude of salmon at this time of year.
This is a yearly pilgrimage for them as they return to their nests built along the river that holds a plentitude of salmon. The eagle’s journey is a message for us all in regards to creating, reclaiming, and restoring life energy even in the depths of winter’s cold and gray.
In the Chinese Five Element System, a system matched with the cycles of nature, winter is the time of year to look within at your inner energy resources and how you store them. If you will, it is time to build your nest for restoration and rejuvenation to take you through the upcoming seasons of change. The gifts from this element include creativity, resourcefulness, cleverness and perserverance.
Water Element asks that you look at your fear, the issues that keep you stuck or frozen, or expending all of your energy depleting you in the end. It is important to acknowledge the sound or messages your thoughts, beliefs and feelings are giving you. Like the eagles in the trees at dawn, you might not yet be able to see what is available, but your inner voice calls out to let you know what is going on.
When Dawn Arrives
It isn’t until the sun has made its way above the horizon that you are able to clearly see the eagles gliding above the water. They fly down to the river to feed on the salmon to restore their energy reserves. It is no accident that their nests are hidden close by.
You can see the outlines of their nests perched high in the trees. They are massive structures made of twigs, plant material and down.. Over time, due to the need for replenishment, their nest can grow to be as massive as one ton in weight. Yet, they are creative and strategically position the nest to hold that weight while supporting new life when their eaglets arrive.
The message from Water Element is to look at your vital energy to take account of what will restore and rebuild your energy. Questions you might ask yourself might include: “Where has my energy been depleted in this past year? What can I do to rebuild my energy? How can I pace myself in a way that will conserve my energy over time? What creative resources can I tap into to protect and enhance my life energy bank? What other resources should I consider? “
In Broad Daylight
Eagles pair for life, and return to the same nest yearly. However, they are also likely to have one or two other nest sites in case the original nest is damaged or destroyed. This resourcefulness conserves vital elements, and is integral to protect and conserve the life cycle process over time.
During the day you can see the eagles in branches close to their roosts. The parents are near the nests in the same or nearby tree. They take turns hunting for food and sitting on the nest. This allows each parent to pace themselves in the process of gathering food, repairing the nest, sitting on the eggs and caring for the eaglets when they arrive.
Resources for Perseverence
The sharing of responsibilities not only makes good use of resources, but benefits each of the eagle’s abilities to persevere through every part of the process from start to completion so they can sustatin their abiilties for necessary tasks needed for success.
The lesson from Water Element for us is about pacing yourself over time. It allows you to be in the flow of life in a way that conserves, protects and replenishes your life energy. When you make time to take care of your life energy you resource ways to build integrity in your wellness and well-being. This means prioritizing care of your body’s needs in the winter , taking inventory of your negtative thoughts, and realigning with your essence..
Resonance Repatterning sessions create positive change. These important aspects of self-care create ripple effects for you personally, and in your relationship as you navigate change. In the process, you experience new opportunities for restoring and creating more coherent life energy for your positive intentions as you move through the year.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Master Wellness and Well-being Life Coach, and Person-Centered Expressive Therapist
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