Posted by Kimberly Rex

3 Ways to Empower Your Self-Talk

Don Miguel Ruiz, in his book, The Four Agreements, starts with “Be impeccable with your word.” Your self-talk and what you do your words have the power to create something outside, but also inside. Our words can build or tear apart. According to Carolyn Myss,“Dis-empowering language keeps us sick and weak.” Negative self-talk messages such as “I can’t do it,” “ It won’t work,” or “ I’m not good enough,” often speak to material from long ago, and do not allow the “true self” to shine.

Here are three ways to empower your self-talk:

1. Working with the energy center for hearing and speech, the Ether Chakra (throat) allows for feeling and serves as the bridge between the Air (heart and lungs) and Brow Chakra (pineal gland) creating the opportunity for expression from both the heart and mind. To access these three centers, notice with loving awareness of how your communication feels. Become aware of your breath and focus in your heart before speaking. This then expands the electromagnetic fields of the heart and brain for more clarity, problem-solving, connection to love, courage, compassion, and intuition. This results in creating greater opportunity for the harvest of response overreaction in your expression.
2. Clarity, truth, and respectful wording create greater empowerment. To experiment with this idea, read paired sentences with small changes, noting how you feel as you read both.

Indecision to Clarity
“Maybe, I’ll call you to tomorrow.” /“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I think that song is great.” / “ Yes, that song is great.”
“Nah, I don’t think it’s a wise decision.” / “No, it’s not a wise decision”
Extreme to Moderate 
“I never eat after 5 PM.” / “ I seldom eat after 5 PM.”
“I always meditate for an hour.” / “I often meditate for an hour,” or “I sometimes meditate for an hour.”
Should to Choice“ I should call my mother on Sunday.”/ “I choose to call my mother on Sunday,” or “I want to call my mother on Sunday.”
Try to Aim
“I will try to do my best on my homework.” / “ I aim to do my best on my homework” or “I intend to do my best on my homework.”
Diminishment to Value
“ I’m just a student.” / “ I am a student.”
“ I can’t exercise for 30 minutes.” / “I choose not to exercise for thirty minutes.”
or “I am not willing to exercise for thirty minutes.”
Demand to Desire
“I have to lose 5 lbs. by August 30th.” /“I desire to lose 5 lbs. by August 30th.” or “ I choose to lose 5 lbs. by August 30th.”
“I need to finish this work by tomorrow.” / “It’s important to me to finish this work by tomorrow.”

3. Extend this practice by keeping track of repeated messages you give yourself and then working with a change from the list above. Using a journal, write down a statement you hear yourself saying which feels uncomfortable. Use the same practice of tuning in to your heart and breath as you reflect on its meaning. Listen to your words to inform and empower your life for illumination. Who, what, and where on the time-space continuum is speaking? I’ve worked with clients who have expressed beliefs, attitudes, and hardships of their ancestor’s traumas and limitations.

Sometimes messages are parental messages from pre-natal experience or very early on. Through the course of a session, when the client consciously becomes aware and transforms the old messages, a great burden is lifted! Create a new message by taking it more deeply into a Resonance Repatterning® session for internal shifts. By taking this active part, you create respectful, loving, and supportive action from within for life-affirming communication.

Kimberly Rex

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Posted by Kimberly Rex

Taking the Compassionate Journey of Healing Within

I attended a conference in Mexico over a decade ago where a speaker talked about the necessary journey in our lives. She talked about healing within as your spiritual journey through life.

This evolution is more of a spiral than a straight line. So bringing mindfulness, kindness, and understanding to your life is essential to reach your heart through joys, trials, and challenges so you take part in creating your own destiny through the compassionate journey of healing within.

This journey shows up in the appointments you have with essential learning that are brought to the surface to metabolize emotions in the process of your being human on this planet where there is so much to process.

The threshold of learning happens where and when you are challenged with external events that are paired with an inner conflict related to your feelings, attitudes, and beliefs. Some events in our lives seem to have greater gravitational force than others. Events of great joy, as well as great sorrow, take you into deeper dialogue with your soul, to the questions about the meaning of your own life and your purpose. These are particular times, no matter how difficult it seems related to the cultural, familial, and gender expectations of you, you have the invitation to engage and embark on the adventure of taking the compassionate journey of healing within for growth and transformation.

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.  ~Brene Brown

Creating the Compassionate Journey with Courage and Acceptance

Challenges show up in relationships, obstacles, forks in the road, and seeming dead ends.  The Universe uses everything to involve you in the journey: relationships, situations, emotions, etc. The choices that present themselves when difficulties show up, messages, or learning is what it is attempting to get your attention to expand your awareness.

Challenges are here to awaken you and even if you’re awakening, life continuously gives you challenges and then the awakening accelerates and deepens. ~ Eckhart Tolle

An issue might keep showing up and then escalate to create even more pain and intensity until you are ready to sit with the meaning of the need for significant inner change. I have fondly called this “the lesson of the 2 x 4.”    I say fondly because it is how much persuasion it takes to finally get that things are not working out no matter how many times attempted to get things to turn out another way.  You know the adage, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” ~ Unknown

Shame, guilt, hurt, anger, hopelessness, or fear can keep you from looking at another possibility for a new or broader vision of life. However, these feelings do point to the healing journey to transform us. It is important to work with these inner signals, to digest, metabolize and integrate them to take their higher lessons.  In a world where it is difficult to sit with anything or have time to process, taking time with your inner feelings is essential to create positive change in your wellness and well-being.

It’s very important that we re-learn the art of resting and relaxing. Not only does it help prevent the onset of many illnesses that develop through chronic tension and worrying; it allows us to clear our minds, focus, and find creative solutions to problems. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Many times the desire to make something work out with the perception of the past is based on re-acting out something that needs your attention to heal and update. You might not have had the support or nurture to work out the original pain or situation at the time. However, tuning into the place that makes you vulnerable today creates the openness that allows you to bring awareness to the underlying need, feelings, and beliefs that keep you entangled in the pattern from the past. It is essential to unlocking the lesson from your unhealed limiting earlier experience to change the patterns you are living in the present.

The truth is that your current experience of life is based on your beliefs, thoughts, and attitudes about yourself, the world, and others. When you change your perception of what you are experiencing within, you change how you interact and respond to life allowing you to live more from your potential through a greater connection to truth, love, and compassion for your inner needs and feelings. This, in turn, allows you to see more of your self. In doing so, you are then able to see more of others. Through empathy, your compassion ripples out into the world to create new connections and new possibilities for being in the world.

Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality, it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness. ~Eckhart Tolle

Building a Bridge to New Possibilities for Your Life

Resonance Repatterning® is a compassionate healing journey to unlock where, when, and how a limiting or depleting situation, belief, or attitude still affects your life today. There are processes within the protocols that diffuse and release the disrupted, blocked or constricted energy that limits your ability to find a new way of interacting with life. The process also includes fusing or returning energy to your body-mind system that has been lost through trauma, loss, shock, or pain so that you actually have more life energy to dedicate to the positive intentions you have for your life. This creates greater integrity in your wellness and well-being allowing you to experience more love, joy, a sense of hope, a feeling of being centered, and empowered.

Would you like to receive natural ways to build greater harmony and balance in your wellness and well-being? Here is an opportunity with monthly healing modalities and repatterning events from Windows to the Heart Repatterning.

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Posted by Kimberly Rex

Is Fear from the Past Still Driving?

Where Does Fear Originate?

Fear can originate from many sources. Some of these sources could be from the past, a traumatic event, or a reaction to what you have been taught to believe about yourself or others. Fear can be short or long-term based on the factors involved, and the quality of the resources you had for resolution at the time of that fear-invoking event in your life.  If you had no opportunity to experience safety or connection with calm or healing at that time, you are likely still being driven by the emotions, beliefs, and thoughts from that fear state. The question is, “Is fear from the past still driving?”

Babies and children do not have the same capacity to reason through a threatening or fear-invoking incident as an adult. The developing brain of a child relies heavily on cues from the environment and caretakers from the perspective of the survival and emotional brain.

It can take the reasoning brain well into your mid-20’s to fully operate based on reasoning and ability to discern aspects of the situation, as well as to put distance between a past event and the present. No matter what or when an experience that provokes fear, creates a reaction in your Nervous System. This triggers the need for survival based on your thoughts, emotions, and lens of perception from past experiences.

Your internal sense of feeling or senses can be a source of conflict that feels uncomfortable. Based on your current ability to regulate being present with the discernment for what is happening and sorting through its meaning from a place of survival, emotion and reason are largely based on how your autonomic nervous system responds to an event or situation. This means that your body-mind system has an automatic, cellular, heart, muscle, nerve, muscle, tissue, emotional, and mental function in the process. Emotions, positive or negative affect your physical, emotional, and mental health.

What Causes Fear?

Fear can be personal, relational, or even cultural. Fear can be superimposed over one or all three of these areas of your life.

What you believe is true affects how you predict what will happen to you in the outside world. Shedding light on your limiting beliefs, thoughts, and attitudes about your life creates the possibility for positive change.

A major event in the world could affect how you travel, what you believe about other people and groups, and can affect how you look at the world politically.

In a recent telecast, I was listening to the ex-president of Mexico speak about the horrific event of 9/11. He attributed, in part, nationalism, and fear in the United States as a residual reaction to this event of terror. The Nervous System of a country can also be triggered into the stance of extreme protection, fight, flight or freeze in response to unresolved emotional and survival defense mechanisms.

The mechanism of fear can be activated by trauma in the world related to nature such as hurricanes, tornadoes, animals, insects, and large bodies of water. Fear can be triggered in situations like public speaking or going to the dentist. States of being and connection with spirituality can also evoke fear related to death, the concept of the Divine, the Silence, the unknown, or being alone.

Relationships can motivate fear response that leads to isolation, arguments, or intimacy based on earlier experiences, how you witnessed resolution of the conflict in your family or healing or lack of resolution of situations that provoked fear in your early life can still be at play in your life today. The idea of being in the world, or unable to set boundaries with the world, needing to feel like you have to be in control, or fear of losing control can be extremely frightening.

How Do You Know You are Still Reacting to Fear?

The common characteristics of fear include a change in heartbeat and breathing. You might hold your breath. Your muscles tighten and your thinking moves from reasoning to survival. This changes how your body responds to the world around you. Tension is held in your body so that even your vision and posture changes. Being in extended states of fear from the trauma that has not resolved creates a habitual alert response that over time takes its toll on how you interact and perceive the world.

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. ~Marcus Aurelius

From the Chinese Five Element View

Fear is the non-coherent quality of the Water Element related to your kidneys and bladder. When you are responding to the world through the lens of fear you are more likely to perceive yourself as a victim in your circumstances and life. Because your body-mind system responds to this stance even at the cellular level, the communication within the physical systems of your body moves into protection mode. This limits the capacity for systemic communication throughout the body.

Because it dedicates so much of its energy to the fear response. This leads to the feeling of overwhelming created by the sheer effort it takes to protect or defend yourself instead of being able to connect with other people and explore new ways of being in the world for health, relationship, and business opportunities.

When you move into the coherent aspects of Water Element in collaboration with the rest of the body-mind system possibilities, you expand your ability to connect with the vital essence of your body-mind system. This creates more optimal life energy for your own life.

In relationships, you have a better ability to connect with others in a way that listens to what others are communicating as you are in contact with your own needs for the ability to be able to respond with greater clarity in the present.

Imagine being able to shift into greater calm and resourcefulness. These are the resources that Water Element offers when you resolve fear so that you are better able to reflect and adapt to situations. This allows you to then pace yourself through different projects and situations while taking care of your own boundaries as well as greater perseverance so that your energy reserves are there when you need them. By resolving issues of fear you have a greater capacity to connect to your needs for love, nurture, safety, and trust. This allows you to move from fear to a greater feeling of self-love in the process.

Here is an opportunity to continue on the path with monthly healing modalities and repatterning events from Windows to the Heart Repatterning. Sign up for monthly newsletter here: Newsletter and Exclusive Re-pattern Your Life Events

 Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, a Master Wellness and Well-being Life Coach, and a Person-Centered Expressive Therapist.

Posted by Kimberly Rex

Messages in the Process of Making Change

Is there a message for all of us to consider as we traditionally look at making a change? It’s not just any change. It’s changing that moves you from where you are in the present into an expanded view of your life, or in ways to improve your wellness and well-being whether that be health, relationship, or business choices.

Process of Making Change is a Point of Choice

  You have a choice about how you wish to experience your process of change.  Confusion and disorientation may seem like challenging aspects of moving into a new way of being, yet the anticipation of new growth and possibility as you move into a new way of experiencing life can also be exhilarating, joyous and freeing.

 

When you feel frustrated and overwhelmed with next steps, the idea of connecting to an anchor image of a time when you moved through a challenging situation in your past that was successful can help you feel grounded and hopeful about your next steps now.

 How did you feel in that situation? Bring these feelings into your current situation. The power of this positive memory will energize your emotional brain. Your emotional brain only knows “now.”  As you motivate your choices with positive emotion, you create neural pathways and encouragement for the conscious mind to take action in the present.

 

  Knowing that the cycles of life and change are part of living is wisdom, you can choose how you experience your life at any moment.  Each breath, each thought, and each new day brings new steps, opportunities for growth, and new possibilities.

 

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Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Master Wellness and Well-being Life Coach, and Person-Centered Expressive Therapist.

Posted by Kimberly Rex

Faith, Hope and Wonder Essential for Change

Faith, hope and wonder are essential in the process of making change.  The way you think about this prospect is important in how you experience life this year. Desiring it to happen, hoping it will happen, and living in a sense of wonder and faith about it happening are all important to consider in the process.

1) Desire: We’ve all experienced great desire for something whether that be a relationship, job, new home, car, clothes, etc. These desires can be goals, and they can also be thoughts filled with expectations that convey feelings of stress, anxiety, and fear. Desires are really pointing to the deeper roots of your experience at the core or heart of what your life is telling you. And, from this perspective, they can also serve to bring calm, inner  peace, as well as curiosity and adventure.

2)Hope: Notice how often you use this terminology on a daily basis. ” I hope it doesn’t rain.”  or “I hope he’s going to call.” How does this make you feel? Does it help you feel more at ease or in tension?  It is good to hope that things happen, however, it is also disappointing when it doesn’t over and over again. This thinking can potentially engulf you in the problem instead of a solution, leaving you feeling disappointed if your hope or desired outcome doesn’t manifest the way you expected.

3) Faith and Wonder: Faith and wonder create a more neutral ground for experiencing the guidance, clues and synchronicity present in accessing calm and serenity instead of undue stress or pessimism bound by inner messages that are filled with fear and stress. Living life from the point of faith and wonder offers the opportunity for choice. This frees up more energy to experience life at the moment and not from knee-jerk reactions to feeling out of control. When you change how you go through your day with the perspective of wonder, you are more centered as the observer. This is different from activating the radar from the past coming from a place of fear and expectation. It allows you to more easily let go of the outcome, and to stay centered in a greater sense of collaboration with and connection to life as it is.

“Don’t wish for it to happen. Don’t wish for it not to happen. Just watch it happen. Let the wonder of life unfold.” ~Susan Jeffers, PhD

Applying This to Your Life

As an example, try the following two statements: “I hope I get a raise.” and “I wonder if I will get a raise.”   When you hope something is going to happen, the emphasis is truly on the other person, in this case, your boss. When you wonder if you will get a raise you are free to consider your own values in the situation. Whether you receive a raise or not, the inner dialogue is one based on your inner guidance to respond. In this case, you might choose to stay in your current job, get an insight about details, timing, or take a leap of faith to get a new job.

  Wondering within  allows you to notice how you feel and to stay in touch with your inner feeling and responses. Noticing how we feel about the situation in regards to your true underlying need for security, nurture, respect and love, the need to do your best, go beyond your limits, or the need for purpose, meaning within are all places to explore that goes to the quantum level of subtle change that matters. Every situation in life is an opportunity for learning: your health, relationship, job, communication, your feelings, grief, loss, and pain. Taking the learning starts with getting in touch with the process of observing where you are stuck. Facing your resistance to a situation is different from blaming and criticizing others. Wonder coupled with faith offers the opportunity to look within through the lens and teachings of the habits and patterns in your life today.

Visualize by asking  yourself, “What would my life be like if I had a job where my needs for appreciation, respect, and nurture were met?” ” I wonder what my life would be like?” ” I wonder if there is a different way to see this or do this?”
Can you feel the shift in these words? They move you from feeling like a victim to a person who is seeking guidance, inner truth, and understanding. Visualizing what it would be like starts building the bridge to new possibilities. Like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. with ” I have a dream,”envisioning is a strong tool for wonder whose door is kept open through dedication and action over time.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

  Taking action is a powerful tool coupled with intent and vision. The emotion of meeting an underlying need with even one small action and unhesitating commitment carries energy for the journey on the staircase. This energy influences and brings a sense of invitation or wonder to your emotional brain. Taking action brings wonder to your results-oriented brain. Staying in wonder allows the Fight-or-Flight Brain to move beyond the restricted areas of the patterns of the past by resolving the blocked energy from the past. Know that as you take action, your intent and motivation will also bring up what needs to be transformed as a way to
keep harmony and balance in your process. Keeping a sense of wonder and faith throughout the process creates more beneficial and positive change that matters over time.

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