Posted by Kimberly Rex
Respecting and Honoring Your Own Life
At this time of year, harvest and Thanksgiving time, it can be an invitation to look at respecting and honoring your own life with all the factors that came together to bring you to where you are now. This includes your life experiences, your parents, and the lifetimes of ancestors who came before you who through love, trials and tribulations made it possible for you being here. Showing this kind of respect for life is a beautiful way to harvest the lessons from the past with gratitude to create new possibilities for your life and those of others.
Respecting and Honoring Your Earlier Experiences
Over tens of thousands of years, the brains of humans have changed to become better able to see both the big picture as well as the details. However, the hard-wired Nervous System is designed to keep you safe in the midst of any seeming “danger,” and this alarm system gets activated when you don’t resolve the original unresolved issue or memory imprint. For this reason, it is vital to have respect for your evolution as a human both personally and collectively when considering the experiences of change you have gone through in your life.
Your earlier experiences as a little one, a teenager, young adult and so on build the foundation for what you believe to be true in your life. What you believed as a little one is stored in your body-mind system in your survival brain. Year by year this gets translated into your emotional brain. Until your thinking brain becomes fully developed, around age 25, your responses to the world are primarily through the lens of emotion and reaction to the big world of uncertainty.
This means that unresolved negative earlier experiences in your life can still have a residence in your unconscious originating from a time in your life where you were not yet able to communicate your needs pr figure out how to take care of them. As an example, an infant can scream when hurt, however, he or she cannot yet say, “No,” “Stop,” or “I need a hug.” And, if an adult did not step in to help you calm or protect you, that unmet need with the stress continues to reside in your unconscious. Stored in your Nervous System, your body and mind continue to resonate with these emotions, thoughts, and attitudes that create automatic stress reactions in your life as an adult. This is the reason it is so important to acknowledge that these unresolved beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, and reactions you experience today might be related to your early development.
Respect for these experiences gives you a window into the underlying material that keeps trying to get to the surface through difficult relationships, anxiety, depression, conflict or frustration. Knowing that negative earlier experiences in your life will attempt to raise the alarm to protect and manage your emotions allows you to use that information to create positive change. This, in turn, creates greater integrity in your wellness and well-being.
It is then possible to transform unmet needs to create more coherent beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, and patterns. Respect for yourself creates the ability to listen and take care of your need for positive change for your health, relationships and sense of well-being.
Respecting and Honoring Your Parents and Ancestors
Know that patterns in your life are the patterns your parents and family delivered to you and through you through birth, training, place, and culture you were born. 80% of the patterns in families are unconscious. This unconscious palette is what you have to work with as you go through life. For thousands of years, we, as humans have functioned in tribes to survive. Tribes experienced wars, drought, famine, migrations, illness, poverty and loss. However, it is through their efforts to survive that you were loved into being. Your palette for creating your life is colored with these emotional and survival efforts. It is only with respect for the love and difficulties experienced by your parents and ancestors that you can work with this material. By doing so, you create new patterns for your family and your descendants.
If you take the information from your Family System, it allows you to take the lessons from your parents and ancestors. This happens when you discern how these patterns keep you feeling stuck, frustrated, upset or anxious. This creates the opportunity to become aware of its relevance in feeling overwhelmed, powerless, hopeless or disconnected.
Identifying the automatic pilot of negative emotions, attitudes, and reactions to life through Resonance Repatterning® sessions gives your body-mind system access to the unconscious material through your Nervous System connected to every tissue, organ, and gland in your body. This includes the material stored in your DNA and RNA, your vision and your Family System patterns.
Sessions create the benefit of aligning with the coherent information needed to heal unmet needs and calm your body-mind system for life-enhancing choices. This happens when you resonate with taking your mother and father exactly the way they were, coherent and non-coherent, so you can work with the information you took in, and out of respect allow your parents to take responsibility for their own destiny. This is done with honor and respect that translates into working with your own needs for coherent nurture and vision for life within your own mothering and fathering aspects. This allows you to choose greater resonance with self-care that benefits greater integrity in your own wellness and well-being.
For more on how parental and ancestral patterns impact your life: http://www.windowstotheheart.net/honoring-the-messages-from-all-your-relation/
Respecting and Honoring Your Teachers and Mentors
In the same way that it is important to take your mother and father, if you do not have the ability to take the information or acknowledge teachers and mentors, you do not gain what they have to give you. If you resonate with arrogance towards them you will be unable to learn from them or feel their support in nurturing new information that can lead to your ability to consider new possibilities. Taking meaning from the lessons of your life allows you to consider new horizons.
Below is a video of Fred Rogers, who studied child development, in an interview about his book that speaks to what he learned over 30 years of working with children. His message is to acknowledge and take care of your feelings through acceptance for exactly where and who you are right now. By doing so you give value to your experience and to who you are deep inside.
In this video, he gives an interview about his book, The World According to Mr. Rogers, one that all of us could benefit from hearing no matter where we are in the process of challenge or sense of accomplishment in your life.
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”~The Little Prince
Respecting and Honoring Others
When you are able to heal and restore a greater sense of well-being and author-ship in your own life this means that you have a wider vision for life. This opens the possibility for greater discernment and choice. The new movie, “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” based on Tom Junod’s 1998 Esquire article titled “Can You Say…Hero?” * is about applying these principles to family relationships, in healing childhood trauma through acceptance, patience, kindness, forgiveness, and humility.
When you resonate with greater choice and vision for life through listening and seeing individual expressions as just one way of seeing the world, you are better able to have empathy for others. You can only see as much of another to the degree you are able to see within yourself.
When you resonate with permission to be loving and also balance that with self-care, you are able to express your joy and respond to grief, acknowledge your need for safety, trust, and grounding, and sometimes feel confused. This permission to observe, feel and acknowledge your needs allows you to work with the innate wisdom of your body-mind system.
Like a GPS you are then better able to choose and connect with others in a way that creates mutual respect, power, and life-enhancing connections. Through these connections, the ripple effect of beneficial mutual empathy expands the wellness and well-being benefits for everyone.
*LINK to Tom Junod’s article, “Can You Say…Hero?” https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/a27134/can-you-say-hero-esq1198/
I’d like to invite you to explore how ResonanceRepatterning®can make a difference in your life. Experience a session by phone, Skype, or in-person with Windows to the Heart Repatterning. Set up a session with Kimberly Rex here: Contact Page
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Posted by Kimberly Rex
Creating Harmony and Balance in Your Giving and Receiving in Relationships
Resonance Repatterning® works with a number of healing disciplines for relationships including the work of Bert Hellinger’s Family Systems material. This work is a valuable for creating harmony and balance between giving and receiving in your relationships enhancing your ability to take what is nourishing into your body-mind system, personal relationships, and your interactions in the world.
Bert Hellinger speaks to the need for order or balance to interact with others in a way that brings meaning, dignity, respect, healing and love. Creating harmony and balance in the process of giving and receiving allows you to remain centered, respectful of both your needs, and the needs of others in the process.
Giving
There are some limits to giving and taking. When you come from a place of an open heart you can offer the possibility of knowing that whatever the situation, the other person or persons are individuals with unique and specific beliefs, patterns and perspective in their life. You can only give what you have and when you have the energy to give. This can range from money, experience, love, time and energy. You cannot give what you do not have.
In the same way, your expectations for particular results or outcome when you give to another person is only in balance when there is a respect for the free will of the other person. Being aware of another’s limits is very important. Imbalance within ourselves can happen when we try to take the burden of responsibility from someone else, and try to carry it for them. Accepting a circumstance or where a person is in their life at the time allows them the the respectful possibility of dignity and growth.
Co-dependence often shows up as non-coherent “giving.” Many times what starts out as the need and hope for being the rescuer, often ends up leading to resentment, and results in feeling like a victim. Resentment might also lead to greater inner frustration, as well as creating outward blame which then creates the role or perception of being a persecutor. All of this can take a toll on your relationship, your health, and well-being.
“I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people’s lives, problems, and wants to set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life.”
~ Melody Beattie
Receiving
In any relationship, there is both give and receive. In giving and receiving, it is important to resonate with not only giving what you have but to take only what you need meaning what is good for you. This is learned very early in life based on family patterns observed and learned that translate into beliefs, unconscious patterns and systemic beliefs based on loyalty to your family attitudes and patterns.
Looking at these patterns involves looking more deeply at the internal places of your conflict and fears related to receiving. Underlying unconscious material that keeps you from receiving what benefits you could be related to guilt, mistrust, or need to protect yourself. Your reactions in relationships today might also stem from loyalty to your family’s systemic way of being, as a way to demonstrate love for a family member based on your unconscious need to continue to be included in your family of origin.
Resonance=Attraction
Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth. ~ Iyanla Vanzant
What we resonate with, we experience in life. Our internal beliefs whether they are conscious or being played out through unconscious material from decades or generations of beliefs, thoughts, habits, and behavior that impact your life and relationships. At the level of resonance, you choose relationships based on your need to work out the places in your life that are unhealed or resolved.
You inherently choose partners, work, and living situations that amplify the patterns in your system, and those needed for healing. This is why the characteristics or patterns of your relationships and interactions with the world seem to be playing out over and over again.
A client of mine once said, “My relationships are the same every time. Different person, but same material.”
This is the reason it is important to access unconscious personal, family and generational patterns to transform these patterns into more coherent patterns of love, freedom, wisdom, and balance in every area of your life.
Here is your opportunity to create greater harmony and balance in your relationships through transforming your limiting beliefs, attitudes, and patterns related to giving and receiving to create greater integrity in your wellness and wellbeing!
Register for a personal Resonance Repatterning session to repattern your life for greater harmony and balance in your relationships here: Register for personal Repattern Your Life Session
