Posted by Kimberly Rex

Being in Transition

Being in transition can change your past, present, and future. We live as though everything has a logical sequential process. However, when the number of transitions you experience escalates, this can change how you deal with the steps you take, the amount of time to complete a process, and your ability to integrate change.

The rate of change in our lives has accelerated especially in recent years with the rise of technology and the impact of the global issues created by the pandemic, climate change, and financial instability. In the midst of all of this change, it is important to acknowledge that you are affected by both personal and collective levels. The increasing number of transitions you experience at once translates into the need for a more non-linear way of looking at what is happening to you.

Being in Transition as a Way of Life

The number of transitions that you go through has both linear and non-linear characteristics. According to Bruce Feiler, this acceleration of change in our lives is intensified by the chaos and complexity of daily living. Research shows an average of 3-5 life changes every 5 years cumulatively taking up half of your adult life.

These life disruptors include the changes and transitions you experience in your relationships, work, sense of identity, body image, as well as your money. Extreme life changes might include the loss or change in home, of friends and family, or your job. Illness, self-esteem, traumatic events, energy levels, moving from one place to another, or change in your energy levels due to the stress that life changes have caused. This all can contribute to an overall feeling of loss of stability, safety, trust, or security.

While some transitions are more extreme than others, the tools of the linear world might not feel as productive as expected. The mechanics of the logical linear world applied to starting, pacing yourself, pausing, giving up, or even starting over again might need more time for being with the process as it unfolds than for a recipe or formula. As the world continues to feel like a tossed salad, it’s important to acknowledge that you have a home within yourself that can be nourished by giving yourself the room to be in transition so you can take in the depth of the multi-linear and non-linear transitions you are experiencing personally and we are all experiencing together.

Being in Transition in a Changing World

The way you look at your own life is also translated into how you see the world. So what power do you have with all of this change happening all at once? The important news is that within you is a well of strength that has gone through challenges in the past. These parts are available to you now. Allowing the parts of your life experience that are stuck or confused to get to know the other parts of yourself that have met challenges successfully can create an empowering give-and-take to support you in the present.

Acknowledging your current emotions to meet the current challenges and transition expectations then become non-linear. It is the strength and compassion you have acquired over time that the earlier parts of yourself that still carry limiting beliefs, attitudes, and concepts of time that need to become more acquainted. This creates the space so that the essence of your life experience in your body-mind-spirit system can integrate with the greater parts of yourself as a resource for positive change. This means that fear, sadness, shame, anger, loneliness, hurt, guilt, anger, confusion, and hurt can point to your real need for self-care for what you are meeting in the world today.

In the process of change, Bruce Feiler speaks to three parts of working with transition in a way that moves, redirects, and changes order: a) The Long Goodbye b) The Messy Middle and c) the New Beginning. He suggests starting with your strength whether it be an attempt to try something new, staying in the moment with the messages and emotions you are experiencing; or working with the steps of grieving in no particular order or time in an attempt to work with what emerges or works best for you. This acknowledges the non-linear nature of true change over time. You are accompanied by the thought and feelings of each of these parts while at the same time responding to daily tasks. When you honor your inner value and truth, the pace of life you experience is more authentically tied to your needs in your personal process.

Being Transition with What You Value

No matter where you begin, it can be a time to start to value more what you know you love about yourself and take the support you need in the transition process. It can also be a time to seek out mentors and friends who can share the process.

It is essential to nourish your vital being and essence in the process of change. This could be creating through dance, art, writing, baking, ritual, or pacing yourself, while also learning new behaviors and habits. It is time to ask yourself these questions. “What do I need to let go of, learn, or move toward to create the space for speaking and living my values in my communication and actions in this transition? What can this life trauma, or lesson teach me about what I would like to create with new possibilities?“

When the best timing for integration emerges, begin to see that you are not slamming the door on the past or throwing it away. You are, like nature, using the compost of life to begin a new chapter. Take the messages and the soul weight that has been created by your journey, and use it for new possibilities.

Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning®practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy.

Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life in times of trauma, change, and transition. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.

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Posted by Kimberly Rex

Fall is a Good Time to Show Your True Colors

Fall is a good time to show your true colors. Like the leaves in fall that lose their green due to the reduction of chlorophyll in their fibers from a reduction of sunlight, they begin to show their true underlying colors of red, orange, and yellows in every shade. It is an invitation for you to look inward to your true value. It is also a good time to look at what you can no longer tolerate. This comes from the pairing of inspiration and letting go to allow your true colors to shine through.

Metal Element becomes prominent in the season of fall. As with any transition, the changes you experience in this season vary from changes in the amount of sunlight you experience daily, to cooler temperatures, and changes in your activity levels.

In this season, plants put their energy into their roots while letting go of the past season to set new leaf buds for a new season with renewed light. So it takes grounding to activate potential with the correct resources and time. Letting go of what no longer serves your life as the trees do as fall progresses points to the message that balance and harmony within means releasing what no longer benefits your life while also creating new ways of preparing for new possibilities.

Taking Inventory of Your True Colors

It is time to look at what keeps you grounded and rooted, and consider what keeps you stuck in a mode of not expressing your truth in your values and communication. So it is a good time to ask yourself, “How do I put myself down or diminish myself?”

Criticism can keep you from taking action whether it be toward another person or within yourself. Looking at where you stand in the victim stance that reflects a lack of self-worth, or expecting yourself or another to be perfect can keep you in a place that creates behaviors that interfere with your ability to know that you are learning and a work in progress. Fall can be a time to take inventory and take an insight into creating positive self-talk and building a growth mindset.

Anxiety, anger, shame, or guilt can keep you from staying with a growth mindset. Sometimes locked in traumatic experiences where you did not have the support or resources from others to transform abuse can still have an influence on how you experience the world today.

This shows up in your adult relationships where triggers and patterns in relationships mimic the earlier traumatic experiences out of vulnerability and lack of experience with access to positive resources in the present for resolving or transforming the trauma experience from the past. However, resonating with inner resources within parts of yourself that stay present to your inner needs with care and compassion allows you to consider new possibilities.

Letting Go to Show Your True Colors

Letting go related to grief is the prominent non-coherent emotion to work with related to the Metal Element and Fall. On the physical level, grief can be registered from past losses. Your energy can be depleted in your lungs and show up as respiratory congestion and difficulties with letting go in the large intestines with constipation. So it is a good time to ask yourself, “What is my purpose in life?” and, “How can I connect to my purpose spiritually or in the world?”

Grief can keep you facing away from life and the inner value of the meaning from your loss to transform into love and compassion for your ability to face life again by taking the roots, love, and lessons from your experience to create the energy of love within to set buds for life with the wisdom and heart to take forward when you are ready. In this way, you can find light in the journey through the darkness.

Sessions that Focus on Your True Colors

This is your personal invitation to root yourself, find the value in your life, and set your buds for new possibilities. Give yourself the gift of inspiration for new possibilities for either a Living On Purpose or Letting Go for Good Repatterning with these links.

Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy.

Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.

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Posted by Kimberly Rex

Tending to Your Heart

In the midst of heartbreaking situations, it is important to look at how you are tending to your heart. This means that in the loss of a person, pet, income, relationship, or any destabilizing event it is important to nourish yourself. Even the gut-wrenching grief and exhaustion from processing the violence in the news make it important to give compassionate support to your own wellness and well-being .

We know that your heart is affected by emotions. Heart rate, pressure, and even shape and size change with the intensity of grief, heartbreak, sudden change, or loss. Our hearts break.

So what can we do to give tenderness to our hearts in the midst of all of the cacophony? This article will offer some simple and natural modalities related to foods, herbs, essential oils, teas, stones, sound, acupressure, and energetic contacts for tending to your heart. Please use any that call your name. Your heart carries the wisdom, intuition, memory, and compassion needed for this time. For additional support related to anxiety, trauma or overwhelm you can also get more ideas here.

Modalities for Tending to Your Heart

Modality	Specific Modalities	How to Use
Energetic Contacts, Sound, and Color to Treat Your Entire Body-Mind-Spirit System	Harmonizing Contact Medical Qigong Under Healing Blue Skies	https://kimberlyrex.audioacrobat.com/download/kimberlyrex-harmonizingcontact.mp3 Listen to calming music https://www.windowstotheheart.net/medical-qi-gong-under-healing-blue-skies/
Aromatherapy and Essential Oils	Clary Sage for grounding and coming back into center Rose for grief and broken heart	Diffuse in the room, inhale, surround yourself with fragrant roses, or apply to acupressure points with a carrier oil
Teas Water	Green tea for serotonin; Lavender or Chamomile tea for calming; Bergamot or Linden tea for anxiety; Chai or Tulsi tea for grief Hawthorn Tea for your heart Rose petal tea	Teas for Stress and Depression: https://senchateabar.com/blogs/blog/best-tea-for-stress-and-depression Solar infuse rose petals in water and drink tea Stay well hydrated.
Herbs	Sage, Hawthorn, Rose, Linden, Motherwort, Mimosa, Holy Basil (Tulsi)	https://www.onlymyhealth.com/herbs-for-grief-and-sorrow-1577506013
Foods	Eat dark leafy greens; Omega 3 foods; foods with Tryptophan (a precursor for serotonin). Eat root vegetables for grounding.’ Cook with sage associated with relieving sorrow.	Foods with Omega 3 https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/12-omega-3-rich-foods Foods with Tryptophan https://www.livestrong.com/article/247974-list-of-foods-high-in-tryptophan/
Acupressure Points	Kidney 2: (brings warmth, joy, and love); Conception Vessel 17 (Ren Vessel): relieves anxiety; Lung 1 (Letting go); Stomach 36 (grounding); Gallbladder 20 (insomnia and clears brain); Governor’s Vessel 24.5 (center of the forehead above eyebrows and below hairline)	Acupressure Point Locations https://www.acupuncture.com/education/points/
Exercise	Take a walk, stretch to relieve anxiety, tone, and sing	Walk next to or near water or in the forest. Spend time in a garden.
Stones	Rose quartz for unconditional love; obsidian for absorbing negativity; Amethyst for restoring balance*	Carry the stone with you or wear the stone; use it in your bath water or make solarized water with stone; hold it in your hands (sub chakra of your heart) or near your heart.
Meditations	Grief Meditation 3 Meditations for Keeping Calm and Carrying On	https://kimberlyrex.audioacrobat.com/download/kimberlyrex-griefmeditation.mp3 https://www.windowstotheheart.net/three-meditations-to-stay-calm-and-carry-on/

Now is the time, more than ever that you take good care of yourself by tending to your heart. Be well, sleep well, and eat well. Think well, and love yourself well. We are at a turning and tipping point as we move forward with the potential for significant change. Let’s use our hearts to create new opportunities for sustaining life, love, and compassion starting with ourselves, and hold this space for tangible and sustainable possibilities!

If you have any questions about how to use these modalities in this article, feel free to contact me at kimberly@windowstotheheart.net. If you are experiencing heartache at this time and would like a personal Resonance Repatterning session, this is also the place to make contact.

From my heart to yours,

Kimberly

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Posted by Kimberly Rex

4 Ways to Connect to Love in These Times

Connecting to love in these times of staying at home with social distancing and isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic, I have found more time to ruminate about what has been going on in the background of my mind. Hearing about the death of loved ones, healthcare, EMT workers, and nursing home patients widens the gap of separation while longing to somehow know how to offer love and compassion.

This article gives you 4 ways to connect to love in these times. This time touches places of anxiety, loss, and grief you have experienced in your life in the past. These triggers bring up fear about how to cope with the anxiety, loss, and grief brought on by separation from others in the present.

1. Connect to Love in Yourself and Others

With all that is happening, the journey of love has to start from within. Where have you felt separated from yourself, not felt safe or protected, not able to live your truth, or feel more connected with others? Underneath is the need for mercy, self-love, and compassion.

Connect to Love in Your Heart

2. Connect to Love through Forgiveness

Connecting with the whole of yourself creates greater self-love. This love allows you to connect with greater compassion with the whole of others. Listening to your biofeedback, thoughts, emotions and physical response to what is happening inside of you creates the opportunity for empathy in considering others in the same way.

The 3 Directions of Forgiveness in the Buddhist tradition takes into account the need to be able to free up space in your heart and mind through the process of forgiveness. These three directions include what others have done to you, what you have done to others, and what you have done to yourself.

Forgiving allows you to open to greater awareness and understanding. Others have an influence on your awareness. Your responses are based on your perception of other’s behaviors, words, and actions. This impacts your ability to see the underlying intent and need for connection or boundaries in the situation.

Acknowledging lessons from the past by giving space for grief, anger, and hurt that constricted your life energy creates new possibilities for your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes to choose new pathways when you put the burden down.

Jack Kornfield and Forgiveness Meditation

3. Connect to Love through Giving Back Responsibility

It can seem incredibly difficult in connecting to resolve traumatic early experiences alone. These parts that have felt unheard or acknowledged need the attention of your adult part and higher self. This means that you are able to respond to these parts within you now that are attempting to protect and manage your emotions of anxiety, fear and confusion from the past in a way that creates support, nurture and mercy in the present.

According to Steven Levine, this is having mercy on ourselves and others through conscious living. In this time where we become are made acutely aware of life and death, it is this work that allows you to expand the space within yourself to allow connection to your Self, your family, friends and loved ones more compassionately.

Part of the forgiveness process includes giving back the responsibility to others who have abused or harmed you. In these cases, you are working with creating compassion for yourself and your unmet needs for protection and safety to transform the negative experience.

In Family Systems, not giving back the responsibility to others for their actions puts you in the arrogant position to the perpetrator making you the big one taking on the responsibility and burden. You were only the little one or perhaps a peer. Giving back responsibility is actually a way to create order in your system. This allows each person to work with their own fate. This gives each person the inner power, dignity, respect, and responsibility to choose how to respond to life in a new way.

So, in these cases, it is vital to acknowledge the responsibility to end the Victim-Perpetrator Cycle. This happens inside of you. You might never receive a literal apology, but, working with the shift in perception of a negative experience to empower you now, changes your life in the present. By no longer carrying the burden, you free up life energy the imprint of abuse, stress response, anxiety, and unease that you carried.

This is where your ability to respond to life in a more authentic and life-enhancing way through choice begins to happen.

4. Connect to Love through Gratitude and Grace

Being separated from loved ones miles away, in nursing homes, or in hospitals, and not knowing when this could or might happen to people we know draws us into the space of grief. It can create a feeling of being powerless. Connection, love, and gratitude is the healing balm. Tell others you care and love them right now to bridge the distance.

Many years ago, in reading Richard Louv’s book,Web of Life: Weaving the Values That Sustain Us, he wrote about sending Gratitude Letters to family members and friends in place of holiday gifts due to lack of money. It is a beautiful idea for any occasion, especially at this time when it is difficult when you might be struggling with finances and not knowing when you will see your loved ones again.

This can also be a time to write a gratitude letter to a loved one who has passed. Your words have meaning in the Unified Field of Consciousness. They also have a loving influence on healing your Family System in the past, present, and future.

Grace Notes: A Living Eulogy TED Talk

Why are eulogies only for the dying? In this funny, touching talk, Andrea Driessen argues that writing your loved ones a “grace note” – a kind of living eulogy – is a potent tool for connection now that also lessens the pain of grief and regret later. Everyone wants to matter, and Andrea’s wish is that we share what matters most with our loved ones while they’re still alive to hear it.

Family Systems is one of the many healing disciplines within the body of Resonance Repatterning® work. If you would like to work with this process to create greater integrity in your wellness and well-being, sessions are available by phone, Skype and proxy. Start your process here.

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Posted by Kimberly Rex

Even with the Best of Intentions: Insights from the Titanic

On April 15, 1912, the Titanic was lost in the icy waters of the Arctic Circle. The event continues to be haunting emotionally in the stories of the passengers, in film, music, and scientific intrigue.  I can not help but wonder if this historic event from a little over a hundred years ago offers insight into the process of manifestation even with the best of intentions.

Bruce Lipton, Ph.D.; author of Biology of Belief, states that we are processing over 4 billion bits of information per second and that your bio-energetic field while filtering all the material, can only process about 1-2% of that material consciously. Any trauma, accident, stress, imprint, or habitual behavior that has not been processed consciously for more coherence has the power to divert, block, compromise or disrupt optimal energy flow and response. Positive intentions are only as effective as the underlying coherent structures that support them.

As an example, the Titanic was touted as being the biggest and best ship ever built in the early 20th Century, yet the unseen material of a solitary iceberg in the Atlantic caused its demise. The ice below the surface which comprised 90% of its mass which wasn’t seen ripped open the ship below the waterline and above the double hull where it was least expected to overwhelm the ship.“It’s just the tip of the iceberg” is also relevant when looking at the influence of unconscious material on your choices, actions, and outcomes in what you are intending to make happen.

Even with the best of intentions you are using a great deal of energy towards your positive intentions and seeing no results, perhaps it is a call from your unconscious beliefs that lie below the surface, patterns built up over time with imprints asking you to take a new course. No matter how much you visualize, believe, and work towards them through saying affirmations, imagining the outcome, burning candles, making wishes, etc; the material from limiting habits, beliefs, and patterns can override them.

The Titanic was proclaimed “Unsinkable and Invincible.” Everyone said and believed it was so. On that day reports came in for ice fields, and the course of the ship was altered to a more southerly route maintaining a speed of 21.5 knots which is about 40 km per hour. The wireless telegraph broke down for several hours after the course was changed. When the latitude/longitude report came in with exact location of ice fields in their new path with 10 miles of ice fields, the telegraph operator aboard the Titanic was so stressed with the backlog of passenger telegraphs from lost time trying to fix the wireless that he placed the new “Icebergs” report under his elbow with the stack of other mounting telegraphs after telling the messenger from another ship,‘Shut up, shut up! I am busy; I am working Cape Race!’” This last Iceberg report never made it to the bridge.

In the excitement and hurry for this new venture, binoculars were misplaced and were not available to lookouts on the ship. That meant that they could not see well into the darkness filled with only smooth water and twinkling stars. When the iceberg finally registered as a reality that could not be denied with the naked eye, there wasn’t enough time to change course or take effective evasive action. With mounting stress after the hit, the SOS latitude/longitude location signal sent out for help proved to be an inaccurate reading of Navigational Charts which made it difficult for ships to reach her more rapidly.

What were the elements of destruction to the intention of crossing the Atlantic? While there are many theories in books, articles, etc; for our purposes here in considering the bio-energetics at work, tiredness, disorientation, collective belief, and stress response within the structure of the ship and crew all step forward.

Miscommunication between crew members about the real impact of the situation affected loading lifeboats which, in some cases, filled only 1/3 the number they could have actually held. Some passengers refused early on due to the belief that the ship was a safer place to be than a lifeboat.

While each person’s life and their relationship with another created loss on the Titanic, the number of 3rd class passengers reported the greatest toll. In some cases, they were blocked and could not reach the top. The steel in the freezing waters became brittle and fractured in her depths instead of being able to expand and hold the keel and hull together flooding beyond the capacity of the ship’s ability to sustain itself.

In the aftermath of the sinking of the Titanic, inquiries about the details of this disaster led to updates and improvements in shipping and travel across the water almost immediately. Expanding the area of doubled ship hulls, increasing the numbers of lifeboats, drills, and safety, improving watertight walls, and requiring 24- hour wireless reinforcements were all conscious improvements to create more coherent structure and support for sustaining life.

It is possible to update the unconscious material of limiting beliefs, attitudes and thoughts in your body-mind system traveling through life. This information is stored in your Autonomic Nervous System within your muscles, tissues, glands, organs, thoughts, feelings and actions. When you deeply listen to what this information is reporting, you have an opportunity to expand into a greater experience of wellness and well-being so that we can see more clearly, move into the present with more insight and focus for making decisions and being present to what is in front of you. This happens by restoring more optimal harmony and balance in your system while decreasing the residual effects of stress from your past. When you create more peace with events that still haunt you by updating them with more positive frequency support, you can move forward to experience more harmony and balance.

Resonance Repatterning Sessions update emotional, mental, spiritual (core essence), and physical energy flow with natural healing disciplines matched to your specific needs. This changes the course of your life direction while creating more optimal energy flow in your body-mind system. Doing so, allows you to re-pattern your life to experience greater integrity in your wellness and well-being.

I’d like to invite you to explore how Resonance Repatterning® can make a difference in your life.  Experience a session by phone, Skype or in-person  with Windows to the Heart Repatterning.  Set up a session with Kimberly Rex here: Contact Page

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