Posted by Kimberly Rex

Showing Compassion to Your Body for Self-Worth

Showing compassion to your body is connected to the quality of your self-worth. The importance of being loved and valued for who you are, what you feel, and how you are seen and heard is connected to your self-worth.

Shame can damage the bridge to compassion for yourself and self-worth. This bridge can be damaged early in life when a parent or authority figure yells, neglects, abuses, or ignores the needs of a child.

Because the need for connection is so strong, shame serves as a survival response when the connection between others and the self is broken. The need to bond with safety and trust needs to be rebuilt by the parent or caretaker. When this doesn’t happen, the child takes the burden of attempting to regain connection, acceptance, and bonding by trying to earn love. This comes from the child not feeling worthy and left feeling that somehow they need to rebuild the bridge to connection.

The outcomes of this need to reconnect can manifest in your body through anxiety, depression, withdrawal, isolation, substance abuse, attempt to be perfect, lying, self-loathing, trying to please others, fit in, self-harm, or expressing itself in PTSD or eating disorders. These attempts to bond or disappear can sometimes hide repressed anger, grief, rage, and sadness for early unmet needs for connection.

Start Where You Are to Rebuild Compassion in Your Body for Self-Worth

Get in touch with the impact of shame and body oppression created by family, culture, authority figures, age, racism, body shape, size, and color of your skin, religion, and language. Identifying the sources of the shame you feel and your survival strategy reactions allows you to begin to process what has been hidden or oppressed. The truth is that not only is your self-worth and image influenced by the outside world, and this becomes your identity, Shame is also internalized in a way that you embody the negative consequences of degradation and oppression with your beliefs, thoughts, self-talk, and actions toward yourself and, in turn, how you see or experience others.

Identify How Your Body is Expressing Your Need for Compassion for Your Self-Worth

Trauma experiences related to body oppression can lead to the survival strategies of submission, separation, silence, or secrecy. It is expressed in how you hold your body, your gestures, posture, tone of voice, breathing, how you take space and support, and facial expressions. It is also expressed in what you wear, the music you listen to, the art, and the rituals in your life.

“Conditions of worth are circumstances when “self-experience is avoided (or sought) solely because it is less (or more) worthy of self-regard.”~Carl Rogers

Notice How You Respond to the Outside World

Your life experiences have molded over time into what you experience today. If you are a people-pleaser avoiding self-care, or giving up your inner values to express a different image in your relationships with choices that neglect your truth, it points to your need to bring compassion to your self-talk, beliefs, and ideas about your true nature. Acknowledging how your body has carried you through life, its strengths, and its wisdom to meet your life and spirit needs is essential for building the bridge to self-compassion in the present based on your true personal worthiness.

Sankofa, a symbol from Ghana, is the idea that it is important Sankofa to reflect on the past to build a successful future. Going back to retrieve the gifts that your body offers you an egg that can rebuild your own body authority in how you perceive your value and needs in life today.

Your body will allow you to become familiar with these parts that have held shame and a sense of unworthiness. When you experience shame, you are more focused on what others expect and want from you rather than considering your own essential needs. Tuning into how you devalue or give value to your self-worth through the eyes of others is an act of reparation. Working with boundaries with the outside world is a good place to begin to foster greater self-care and compassion for your body and self-worth.

Fostering loving messages from within, ideal mentors, a loving friend, or finding the ancestral connection to your need for love and connection through Family Systems Resonance Repatterning sessions can benefit your ability to connect to the compassionate messages you need. Releasing the burden of carrying the life work of others in your system benefits your ability to face life with your own truth and energy to remember and reclaim your true self-worth in the present to create new possibilities.

Responding to Life Today with Compassion for Your Self-Worth

As you give space to the messages you receive from your body, you can become ever more aware of how it can serve you today building a new bridge into greater self-awareness about how it can serve you. It allows you to breathe, digest, rest, process information, move, transport energy, circulate blood, fluids, hormones, neurotransmitters, and also to take action.

The shift to compassion will benefit you in hearing the messages from your own body when you feel overwhelmed, attacked, or feel the sensations of guilt that tug at you. From these signals, you can begin to allow your body to guide you to set boundaries with the outside world when you experience unease or dissonance with the words, actions, or behaviors of others. This allows you to consider what you need in any given moment or situation. In this way, you connect to your body’s strengths of compassion, love, nurture, protection, and true self-worth.

This is your invitation to benefit from a compassionate process that builds your self-worth. Resonance Repatterning sessions work with your body-mind-spirit system to create greater self-worth and compassion by working with the information stored within your body..

Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy. Set up your personal session here.

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Posted by Kimberly Rex

Opening Pandora’s Box to Find Hope

Opening Pandora’s Box can be a metaphor of caution for being curious or looking at what is difficult or negative. It is also a metaphor for finding hope. At this time in your personal life as well as in the collective, there is an opportunity, to look within at what has been denied, hidden, or kept secret to protect and manage your life,

The image of Pandora has continually come up recently as an analogy for what is happening. I have always thought that when Pandora’s curiosity caused her to open the box, it only contained negative energy. However, with a closer study of the story, it’s vital to know that hope, the one positive energy inside was also included in the container.

She also found hope after all the negative energy had been released with her courage to open the box once more. It was only to appear after the disorder was seen and examined. That hope is what makes it possible to continue forward and spiral up with the power of the point of choice through the chaos and overwhelm.

We all have our own storage box like Pandora. Inside are both painful and comforting memories. The question to ask yourself is how much space you have for hope. By working with the difficult material that has kept you separated from resonating with new possibilities, you are better able to create space for more harmony and balance in your body-mind system.

How Family Systems Offers Hope

Resonance Repatterning ® works with identifying unconscious non-coherent patterns within your body-mind-spirit system. In the process of a session, where energy is constricted or interrupted by trauma, loss, grief, or pain, natural energizing modalities bring hope to restore greater integrity in your system overall. This is done by muscle-checking for the best order and beneficial disciplines tailored to you to create greater coherence.

One of these disciplines is the process of Family Systems created by Bert Hellinger.* Opening the box of unconscious generational patterns creates a meaningful and beneficial way to rebuild hope and positive change in your life.

The Ability to Take Information So You Can Do Something Good with It

In a Family Systems session, you might hear of the importance of taking your mother or father or taking the information in your system. By making material conscious you are better able to work with it and transform its impact on your life.

This holds true with all your relationships. Taking means you are able to see all that is present. This is related to the acceptance of another person as they are or were in your past. Being able to tell the difference between what is real and what is not real is essential or possible in any relationship. Taking the information allows you to gain the energy to face life with what it is handing you.

When you are not facing life, this means that your body-mind system is more tied up in the past conflict or situation, and unable to experience the vitality and freedom to be present to what is in front of you today.

Create Order in Your System

Creating order in your system refers to the ability to resonate with being in your rightful place in your system. This could mean as a child to your parents instead of resonating with being your parent’s caretaker (acting as a parent or partner), or including the lessons from all of your partners in your relationships over time. It can also relate to any relationship where there is dysfunctional codependence. Creating order allows you to take the lessons from your life so you can use this information to create greater integrity in your own wellness and well-being.

By creating order in your family system you benefit by giving respect and dignity to the life of others and as well as freeing your own destiny. This is done out of love and regard for facing life to do something good with it. The ability to face life becomes possible in transforming your inner view of challenging relationships in life.

Include All Members of Your System

In some cases, a person might not be able to take information from the system due to lack of access or in some cases, a disorder of person in the line, or due to the exclusion of a person from the consciousness of your Family System. Exclusion could be any member of your family even from generations in the past. It could be a Great Uncle, a parent, a great grandmother, a soldier, a group of people, a partner, or even a sibling. It can also mean that through painful experience, you have been unable to process an event, or take the meaning to apply to your current life to create new possibilities, choices, or new direction.

To include everyone in your system means you have access to the information both conscious and unconscious through the generations. By doing so in the process of healing codependence in your own life, you are better able to end the violence cycles due to exclusion of members.

It’s important to look at the whole picture. This includes working with systemic information related to culture, language, beliefs, and the impact of perpetrators and victims. If individually or collectively we are not able to recognize the patterns from revenge or violence cycles, we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over. Transforming these patterns allows you to let go of the energy it takes to carry the burdens of this material. This allows updates in your attitudes, responses, and builds the hope, motivation, and momentum to experience tangible and sustainable positive change.

Clearing Pandora’s Box Creates Space for Hope

Recently, I’ve been going through belongings and boxes to organize and let go of things that need releasing. In one box was poetry from my high school and college years, I found a poem that I submitted to the school newspaper for publication. On the bottom of the page written in black and red ink were the votes from the editors with more “No’s than Yeses.” That single page has had a negative impact on my confidence every time I’ve looked at it in the past. I believed that my writing was not good enough. However, this year, for the first time, I noticed in pencil, 9.5 in the top right corner. This was the mark I had received from my English teacher for this poem with 10 as the highest score.

It was an “Aha” moment that changed everything. I had not been able to see it before. My psychic filter this time was able to take in a new possibility and resonate with a greater sense of hope.

The resulting optimism and feeling of gratitude reassured me that the way you see the world can change and is possible. What had changed from last year? My perspective to include the possibility of hope had shifted. By staying with my emotions when they came up and then spending more time with the awareness that came with them allowed me to get to the place of acknowledging that what my mind believed was true might not be the only way to look at the page. I asked myself if there was another way to look at it or something to learn from the page. This expanded my vision to take in new possibilities with confidence and optimism.

You can use this sentence frame for this experience. ” I used to believe________________. Now I am learning__________________________________. I forgive and release my past mistakes made in unconsciousness. I choose ________________ in this moment.”

Creating space within for hope includes acknowledging the parts of yourself that feel anxious, worried, discouraged, sad, or upset. You can ride these waves when you take the time to listen to the messages from your heart and Higher Self that include all of your life’s experiences. Then, you can take the lessons of growth, and align with what else might be possible. That’s when hope lights the way for expanding your vision so you can choose where you place your attention and take action.

With that, I share a poem I also found in the same box entitled, “Hope.“

Hope
Hope is love
Embracing us in our pain
Lifting the lid to the sun.
As Light pours in
We can embrace and be touched by light
Feeling its presence
Within our cell’s walls.
Hope knows its freedom
And penetrates 
Even the smallest places
With love.
Hope is love whispering to us in the darkness,
Lifting the lid to the sun.

~Kimberly Rex © 2001

Kimberly Rex, MS is a Master Resonance Repatterning® and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach, and Person-Centered Expressive Therapist. She works with people all over the world by phone, Skype, and proxy during these times.

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