Posted by Kimberly Rex
How Attitude, Beliefs, Challenge, and Development Lead Your Response to Life
Your attitude, beliefs, challenges, and development lead your response to life. The question is, “What is driving?” Is it fear or reactivity from the unconscious material, unresolved issues, or the conscious desire to create kindness and resonance with direction and positive change? This article will explore the influence and possibility of attitude, beliefs, challenges, and development to expand your experience of life.
Attitude Leads to What You Believe
Your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings create your view of life. When your attitude diminishes yourself or others, this leads to life-depleting and limiting outcomes. If your mindset is fixed you are more likely to feel like you cannot try or experience life differently. When you experience a mindset based on the potential for growth, a growth mindset, you are more likely to engage energy, motivation, and respect for your journey whatever it is and where ever it leads.
Having an attitude for example that “I can’t learn that material because it’s too hard ” vs. “I haven’t learned that material yet, but I want to learn,” creates different views of the world. Which view opens the door to new possibilities?
Taking inventory or questioning your attitudes about different areas of your life can give you insight into what holds you back and what can also shine a light on opportunities for growth and transformation. Asking yourself what holds you back from getting an inspiring job, a nourishing home, a relationship, experience of peace or relaxation is a way of beginning to sketch out what your life experience is attempting to teach you at the moment. Asking and then working with the response is essential to positive change. How would your life be different from a new perspective?
Beliefs Lead to How You Meet Challenges
Beliefs create an automatic filter through which you see and experience the world. Your brain is wired for bias to create survival behavior. However, the threats in earlier evolutionary stages of the world as well as of your body-mind system can overshadow your ability to experience greater calm, joy, love, and vitality as well as your experience of safety in the world.
Tara Brach speaks to Papancha, a Pali word for “mental proliferation,” the chain reaction of thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, and feelings that causes suffering.
Pause and notice you are in a spin of suffering, name it and allow it to be present. Allow it to be. Give it space. Get in touch with what you are believing and the stories you are telling yourself. Each time you interrupt the pattern and chain reaction allows you to return to mindfulness and create the blueprint for new pathways to reconnect to your innate inner wisdom.
Take time to get in touch with inner kindness and wisdom by asking yourself these questions.
- Can I get in touch with my breath to take a pause until I can begin to shift inner awareness and consciousness about what is happening?
- What am I feeling or sensing in my body and my heart? Get in touch with your body sensations and what this tells you about your feelings.
- Who am I blaming? Can I forgive or just be this awareness? Can I give it space, give kindness, and allow the feelings? This allows you to build neurotransmitters for other perspectives, intelligence, and awareness of possibilities.
- Begin to examine your reactions, responses, or behavior in different situations. Identify your triggers, and ask yourself if you want to continue responding in the same way. If not, how could you interrupt or respond differently to break the cycle of the fight, flight, or freeze reaction? This allows you to connect to the good within yourself and others.
By doing so you start to change the inner landscape of your vision by expanding the rules and circuitry of your belief systems that have been embedded by earlier experiences, family system rules, and inculturation.
Challenges Lead to Your Development
“Life is a challenge. Meet it.”~Mother Teresa
When meeting challenges of any form, it’s important to know that what you believe upfront will determine what comes next. All of us have been thrown into situations where we felt overwhelmed, afraid, confused, hurt, betrayed, etc. It is for this fact that resonating with having been able to move through and out the other side of challenges in the past can allow you to work with a challenge in front of you now.
Challenges come in different durations and intensities. Putting challenges into perspective allows you to meet what is in front of you with both inner strength and wisdom when you resonate with having met challenges that created a sense of empowerment. This awareness reduces resistance and creates encouragement for what life is dishing out right now.
Of course, some challenges are larger than others, and not all challenges might feel like they are met with success. For example, if you spill coffee on your shirt, it is different than receiving a phone call about an ill family member that needsyour help that you can’t provide at the moment. Getting centered in both circumstances is beneficial. Being able to calm yourself first allows you to be more available to problem-solving, decision-making, and delegating.
Instead of reacting with the fight, flight, or freeze, it’s important to move out of fear into a greater sense of calm so that problems can be solved by calming the stressed mind to allow life-enhancing and creative choices to be considered. This also allows you to be kind to your own life to learn from past experiences where it might have felt you “failed” so you can apply what those experiences taught you to your current situation.
This is why getting in touch with your breath, taking a few moments, or using a phrase to remind you that you are in the here and now is beneficial. My personal favorites come from 12 Step Programs: “ First things first,” “Keep it simple,” or “One day or one moment at a time.”
Having the strength to get through some life challenges takes time and effort over the long run. Resonating with continuing to come back into your center allows you to pace yourself over time.
Development Leads to Direction in Life
Earlier versions of yourself carry information that can inform your life today. In the same way, your current version of self is able to inform earlier experiences and parts of yourself. You are not an abridged edition, rather you are an expanding and developing being of light and sound.
Your unconscious and conscious material that inform your attitude, beliefs, and responses to challenges make up your overall experience of life.
It’s important to acknowledge that the newborn version of you did not know what you knew as a 2-year-old. Your 7-year-old part of yourself did not know what you knew as a teenager, etc. The way that your body-mind system developed allowed primary functions for survival and feeling states in stages then became more complex with reasoning and logic paired with increasing networks of communication and creativity.
You would not expect your 2-year old part to drive a car, balance a checkbook or make scrambled eggs, yet earlier parts continue to inform and influence choices about bonding, separation, fear, calm, and safety as an adult. This is due to the developmental stage memory imprints from the past that continue to signal to you today.
Your adult self has navigated many developmental stages, challenges, relationships, and structures over time. Taking care of and listening to earlier parts of yourself is essential to developing greater harmony and balance within your life today.
The direction you take in your life is led by your personal and family system’s unconscious material. It conducts your journey until it is brought into the light to create greater conscious awareness and understanding of new possibilities from the perspective of your adult and Greater Self.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, a Master Wellness and Well-being Life Coach, and a Person-Centered Expressive Therapist. She works with clients all over the world with Resonance Repatterning sessions that work with personal and generational unconscious material to facilitate this process of updating your body-mind system to experience greater integrity in your wellness and well-being.
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Respecting and Honoring Your Own Life
At this time of year, harvest and Thanksgiving time, it can be an invitation to look at respecting and honoring your own life with all the factors that came together to bring you to where you are now. This includes your life experiences, your parents, and the lifetimes of ancestors who came before you who through love, trials and tribulations made it possible for you being here. Showing this kind of respect for life is a beautiful way to harvest the lessons from the past with gratitude to create new possibilities for your life and those of others.
Respecting and Honoring Your Earlier Experiences
Over tens of thousands of years, the brains of humans have changed to become better able to see both the big picture as well as the details. However, the hard-wired Nervous System is designed to keep you safe in the midst of any seeming “danger,” and this alarm system gets activated when you don’t resolve the original unresolved issue or memory imprint. For this reason, it is vital to have respect for your evolution as a human both personally and collectively when considering the experiences of change you have gone through in your life.
Your earlier experiences as a little one, a teenager, young adult and so on build the foundation for what you believe to be true in your life. What you believed as a little one is stored in your body-mind system in your survival brain. Year by year this gets translated into your emotional brain. Until your thinking brain becomes fully developed, around age 25, your responses to the world are primarily through the lens of emotion and reaction to the big world of uncertainty.
This means that unresolved negative earlier experiences in your life can still have a residence in your unconscious originating from a time in your life where you were not yet able to communicate your needs pr figure out how to take care of them. As an example, an infant can scream when hurt, however, he or she cannot yet say, “No,” “Stop,” or “I need a hug.” And, if an adult did not step in to help you calm or protect you, that unmet need with the stress continues to reside in your unconscious. Stored in your Nervous System, your body and mind continue to resonate with these emotions, thoughts, and attitudes that create automatic stress reactions in your life as an adult. This is the reason it is so important to acknowledge that these unresolved beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, and reactions you experience today might be related to your early development.
Respect for these experiences gives you a window into the underlying material that keeps trying to get to the surface through difficult relationships, anxiety, depression, conflict or frustration. Knowing that negative earlier experiences in your life will attempt to raise the alarm to protect and manage your emotions allows you to use that information to create positive change. This, in turn, creates greater integrity in your wellness and well-being.
It is then possible to transform unmet needs to create more coherent beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, and patterns. Respect for yourself creates the ability to listen and take care of your need for positive change for your health, relationships and sense of well-being.
Respecting and Honoring Your Parents and Ancestors
Know that patterns in your life are the patterns your parents and family delivered to you and through you through birth, training, place, and culture you were born. 80% of the patterns in families are unconscious. This unconscious palette is what you have to work with as you go through life. For thousands of years, we, as humans have functioned in tribes to survive. Tribes experienced wars, drought, famine, migrations, illness, poverty and loss. However, it is through their efforts to survive that you were loved into being. Your palette for creating your life is colored with these emotional and survival efforts. It is only with respect for the love and difficulties experienced by your parents and ancestors that you can work with this material. By doing so, you create new patterns for your family and your descendants.
If you take the information from your Family System, it allows you to take the lessons from your parents and ancestors. This happens when you discern how these patterns keep you feeling stuck, frustrated, upset or anxious. This creates the opportunity to become aware of its relevance in feeling overwhelmed, powerless, hopeless or disconnected.
Identifying the automatic pilot of negative emotions, attitudes, and reactions to life through Resonance Repatterning® sessions gives your body-mind system access to the unconscious material through your Nervous System connected to every tissue, organ, and gland in your body. This includes the material stored in your DNA and RNA, your vision and your Family System patterns.
Sessions create the benefit of aligning with the coherent information needed to heal unmet needs and calm your body-mind system for life-enhancing choices. This happens when you resonate with taking your mother and father exactly the way they were, coherent and non-coherent, so you can work with the information you took in, and out of respect allow your parents to take responsibility for their own destiny. This is done with honor and respect that translates into working with your own needs for coherent nurture and vision for life within your own mothering and fathering aspects. This allows you to choose greater resonance with self-care that benefits greater integrity in your own wellness and well-being.
For more on how parental and ancestral patterns impact your life: http://www.windowstotheheart.net/honoring-the-messages-from-all-your-relation/
Respecting and Honoring Your Teachers and Mentors
In the same way that it is important to take your mother and father, if you do not have the ability to take the information or acknowledge teachers and mentors, you do not gain what they have to give you. If you resonate with arrogance towards them you will be unable to learn from them or feel their support in nurturing new information that can lead to your ability to consider new possibilities. Taking meaning from the lessons of your life allows you to consider new horizons.
Below is a video of Fred Rogers, who studied child development, in an interview about his book that speaks to what he learned over 30 years of working with children. His message is to acknowledge and take care of your feelings through acceptance for exactly where and who you are right now. By doing so you give value to your experience and to who you are deep inside.
In this video, he gives an interview about his book, The World According to Mr. Rogers, one that all of us could benefit from hearing no matter where we are in the process of challenge or sense of accomplishment in your life.
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”~The Little Prince
Respecting and Honoring Others
When you are able to heal and restore a greater sense of well-being and author-ship in your own life this means that you have a wider vision for life. This opens the possibility for greater discernment and choice. The new movie, “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” based on Tom Junod’s 1998 Esquire article titled “Can You Say…Hero?” * is about applying these principles to family relationships, in healing childhood trauma through acceptance, patience, kindness, forgiveness, and humility.
When you resonate with greater choice and vision for life through listening and seeing individual expressions as just one way of seeing the world, you are better able to have empathy for others. You can only see as much of another to the degree you are able to see within yourself.
When you resonate with permission to be loving and also balance that with self-care, you are able to express your joy and respond to grief, acknowledge your need for safety, trust, and grounding, and sometimes feel confused. This permission to observe, feel and acknowledge your needs allows you to work with the innate wisdom of your body-mind system.
Like a GPS you are then better able to choose and connect with others in a way that creates mutual respect, power, and life-enhancing connections. Through these connections, the ripple effect of beneficial mutual empathy expands the wellness and well-being benefits for everyone.
*LINK to Tom Junod’s article, “Can You Say…Hero?” https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/a27134/can-you-say-hero-esq1198/
I’d like to invite you to explore how ResonanceRepatterning®can make a difference in your life. Experience a session by phone, Skype, or in-person with Windows to the Heart Repatterning. Set up a session with Kimberly Rex here: Contact Page
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