Posted by Kimberly Rex

Using Stress to Transform Your Life

We all experience stress daily. Using stress to transform your life can shift the flow of thoughts that run through your mind. With intention and attention, you can use stress to benefit your experience of peace and well-being.

Major evnts related to concerning health diagnosis, losing a job, not getting a promotion, losing a loved one, a relationship breakup, or unexpected news or change that impacts your life can take a great deal of your energy and time to process.

Ongoing stressful thoughts can lead to greater anxiety, anger, worry, rumination, and fear. Cycling into these territories can be overwhelming when you do not feel that there is an end in sight. And this can disconnect you from your ability to see the big picture, problem-solve or to take action for your wellness and well-being.

Is Stress Moving Toward or Away from Life?

Distress tolerance is your ability to manage actual or perceived emotional distress. The aim and intention in these situations are to choose your response or reaction to this distress.

This begins with creating a conscious practice of asking yourself if your negative thought patterns move you away from life-enhancing patterns that allow you to face life or away from life through avoidance? And, do you want to change this pattern?

Examples of contrast might be the following:

• Spending time with people who give you positive energy or those who bring you down
• Forgiveness or feeding resentments within
• Self-love through creating boundaries with your words and actions or avoiding living your values in action
• Spending time in nature and appreciating beauty with gratitude or blaming yourself and others for what is happening
• Admiring your positive qualities and those of others or comparing yourself to others

“When we are no longer able to change a situation~we are challenged to change ourselves.”~Viktor Frankl

Using Stress to Make Coherent Choices

Changing your inner self-talk and dialogue about what is happening starts with intention and attention. When negative thoughts about the past or future become invasive, it is a choice to either stay with the habitual negative thought, body and feeling pattern, or to become aware of their impact on how you are feeling and how this affects you.

“It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.”~ Hans Selye

Once you make it a habit to change the ongoing pattern of cycling negative thoughts, your body, and emotions will have the opportunity to shift. This conscious choice allows for new possibilities in your wellness and well-being, even if this is for a short time.

Using Stress to Build New Pathways

Creating new pathways takes practice. This means that both your intention and attention are needed. What if you could take control of your thoughts by using using these questions to your advantage? Here are two actiities that you can put easily in place.

• Establish a daily routine of checking in with yourself. This can be done at the beginning of the day, and also be used throughout the day. Setting up specific times of the day to check in with yourself either by schedule or using sticky notes in prominent places you can tune into what your body and mind are processing at eny given time. This creates a conscious noticing of what is going on within. You can use this as a barometer during the day, and then get a reading on how your thoughts are influencing how your mood, energy and focus are responding to life.

• When you find yourself cycling into worry, anxiety, fear or depression, take a few moments to get in touch with what is happening. A simple way to start the process is to ask yourself three questions. “What am I thinking right now?”“What am I feeling right now?” and “Do I want to continue with these thoughts?” Becoming the observer of your current state of being you are better able to navigate what comes next in your life with greater options.

• Chinese Medicine speaks to the importance of keeping your energy flow in harmony and balance for your health and well-being. The suggestion is to pay attention to your emotions when they come up.but to also limit the effects of the negative state. By first working with the (3) questions, and then taking action with a mindfulness activity, you are able to use stress to change your life.

The opportunity to create a shift in perception with mindfulness activities such as a short meditation or breathing practic, journaling, yoga, Qigong, gratitude, looking out the window at a tree or flower, walking in nature, experiencing beauty and good nurture, listening to an inspirational talk, reading, or soothing music. These are “supplements for your body and mind”, and they can energize, reset and tonify your body-mind system.

“No mud, no lotus.”~Thich Nhat Hanh

Mindfulness practices allow you to tap into the energetics of awe, beauty, and pleasure that expand your awareness and diminish your stress. When you resonate with choosing what you will focus on you become the author of you own life and in the short term allows you to lower your stress while building new responses in your body-mind sytem over time.

Once you have answered these questions, chosen a mindful activity to change your internal landscape, your enhance your ability to access your conscious mind with a greater access to critical thinking, and decision-making. This allows you to consider a responsive action based on expanded and focused vision so you can then choose to focus your time and energy on the task at hand, brainstorming, problem-solving, setting boundaries, getting support and planning that will benefit your wellness and well-being.

Resonance Repatterning® Sessions are based on working with your ability to repattern your body-mind-spirit system. This means that the distress you experience on any level can be an opportunity for creating new possibilities in your life.

Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, by phone, and by proxy.

Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.

Read More

Posted by Kimberly Rex

Letting Go for Good Repatterning

This Letting Go for Good Repatterning is an example of a Resonance Repatterning® process with a seasonal focus. Originally, designed for a group, it is now available for personal work as well at any time of the year. This means that if you are processing grief, a change of job, home, loss, or any life cycle change, this process will allow you to move from feeling stuck to ability to create a new direction in life.

Letting go for good is more than recycling household goods, taking out the trash, or taking bags of no longer needed clothing, furniture, etc. to Goodwill. This is a great way to clear and clean up space in your life for new possibilities. Internal letting go for good is also necessary to create greater integrity and life-enhancing energy for your health, relationships, finances, wellness, and well-being.

Letting Go for Good Resonance Repatterning® Process

In this 60-minute process, you will have the opportunity to let go of internal old tapes related to them with the following process:

• Identify what areas in your life need attention and support for letting go of what no longer serves your growth and transformation
• Let go of negative emotions, beliefs, and thoughts that go with these outdated habitual patterns
• Take the gifts or lessons from loss, disappointment, and grief to apply to your growth process
• Create coherent updates and space in your body-mind-system for new possibilities for more life-enhancing and positive choices
• Get natural modalities of color, light, movement, breath, fragrance, meditations, and energetic contact suggestions to add to your stress reduction toolkit in the Letting Go for Good eBook that will accompany this process.

Registration for Letting Go for Good Repatterning

You can register for a personal Letting Go for Good Repatterning by contacting Kimberly here.

Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy.

Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.

Read More

Posted by Kimberly Rex

How Attitude, Beliefs, Challenge, and Development Lead Your Response to Life

Your attitude, beliefs, challenges, and development lead your response to life. The question is, “What is driving?” Is it fear or reactivity from the unconscious material, unresolved issues, or the conscious desire to create kindness and resonance with direction and positive change? This article will explore the influence and possibility of attitude, beliefs, challenges, and development to expand your experience of life.

Attitude Leads to What You Believe

Your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings create your view of life. When your attitude diminishes yourself or others, this leads to life-depleting and limiting outcomes. If your mindset is fixed you are more likely to feel like you cannot try or experience life differently. When you experience a mindset based on the potential for growth, a growth mindset, you are more likely to engage energy, motivation, and respect for your journey whatever it is and where ever it leads.

Having an attitude for example that “I can’t learn that material because it’s too hard ” vs. “I haven’t learned that material yet, but I want to learn,” creates different views of the world. Which view opens the door to new possibilities?

Taking inventory or questioning your attitudes about different areas of your life can give you insight into what holds you back and what can also shine a light on opportunities for growth and transformation. Asking yourself what holds you back from getting an inspiring job, a nourishing home, a relationship, experience of peace or relaxation is a way of beginning to sketch out what your life experience is attempting to teach you at the moment. Asking and then working with the response is essential to positive change. How would your life be different from a new perspective?

Beliefs Lead to How You Meet Challenges

Beliefs create an automatic filter through which you see and experience the world. Your brain is wired for bias to create survival behavior. However, the threats in earlier evolutionary stages of the world as well as of your body-mind system can overshadow your ability to experience greater calm, joy, love, and vitality as well as your experience of safety in the world.

Tara Brach speaks to Papancha, a Pali word for “mental proliferation,” the chain reaction of thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, and feelings that causes suffering.

Pause and notice you are in a spin of suffering, name it and allow it to be present. Allow it to be. Give it space. Get in touch with what you are believing and the stories you are telling yourself. Each time you interrupt the pattern and chain reaction allows you to return to mindfulness and create the blueprint for new pathways to reconnect to your innate inner wisdom.

Take time to get in touch with inner kindness and wisdom by asking yourself these questions.

1. Can I get in touch with my breath to take a pause until I can begin to shift inner awareness and consciousness about what is happening?
2. What am I feeling or sensing in my body and my heart? Get in touch with your body sensations and what this tells you about your feelings.
3. Who am I blaming? Can I forgive or just be this awareness? Can I give it space, give kindness, and allow the feelings? This allows you to build neurotransmitters for other perspectives, intelligence, and awareness of possibilities.
4. Begin to examine your reactions, responses, or behavior in different situations. Identify your triggers, and ask yourself if you want to continue responding in the same way. If not, how could you interrupt or respond differently to break the cycle of the fight, flight, or freeze reaction? This allows you to connect to the good within yourself and others.

By doing so you start to change the inner landscape of your vision by expanding the rules and circuitry of your belief systems that have been embedded by earlier experiences, family system rules, and inculturation.

Challenges Lead to Your Development

“Life is a challenge. Meet it.”~Mother Teresa

When meeting challenges of any form, it’s important to know that what you believe upfront will determine what comes next. All of us have been thrown into situations where we felt overwhelmed, afraid, confused, hurt, betrayed, etc. It is for this fact that resonating with having been able to move through and out the other side of challenges in the past can allow you to work with a challenge in front of you now.

Challenges come in different durations and intensities. Putting challenges into perspective allows you to meet what is in front of you with both inner strength and wisdom when you resonate with having met challenges that created a sense of empowerment. This awareness reduces resistance and creates encouragement for what life is dishing out right now.

Of course, some challenges are larger than others, and not all challenges might feel like they are met with success. For example, if you spill coffee on your shirt, it is different than receiving a phone call about an ill family member that needsyour help that you can’t provide at the moment. Getting centered in both circumstances is beneficial. Being able to calm yourself first allows you to be more available to problem-solving, decision-making, and delegating.

Instead of reacting with the fight, flight, or freeze, it’s important to move out of fear into a greater sense of calm so that problems can be solved by calming the stressed mind to allow life-enhancing and creative choices to be considered. This also allows you to be kind to your own life to learn from past experiences where it might have felt you “failed” so you can apply what those experiences taught you to your current situation.

This is why getting in touch with your breath, taking a few moments, or using a phrase to remind you that you are in the here and now is beneficial. My personal favorites come from 12 Step Programs: “ First things first,” “Keep it simple,” or “One day or one moment at a time.”

Having the strength to get through some life challenges takes time and effort over the long run. Resonating with continuing to come back into your center allows you to pace yourself over time.

Development Leads to Direction in Life

Earlier versions of yourself carry information that can inform your life today. In the same way, your current version of self is able to inform earlier experiences and parts of yourself. You are not an abridged edition, rather you are an expanding and developing being of light and sound.

Your unconscious and conscious material that inform your attitude, beliefs, and responses to challenges make up your overall experience of life.

It’s important to acknowledge that the newborn version of you did not know what you knew as a 2-year-old. Your 7-year-old part of yourself did not know what you knew as a teenager, etc. The way that your body-mind system developed allowed primary functions for survival and feeling states in stages then became more complex with reasoning and logic paired with increasing networks of communication and creativity.

You would not expect your 2-year old part to drive a car, balance a checkbook or make scrambled eggs, yet earlier parts continue to inform and influence choices about bonding, separation, fear, calm, and safety as an adult. This is due to the developmental stage memory imprints from the past that continue to signal to you today.

Your adult self has navigated many developmental stages, challenges, relationships, and structures over time. Taking care of and listening to earlier parts of yourself is essential to developing greater harmony and balance within your life today.

The direction you take in your life is led by your personal and family system’s unconscious material. It conducts your journey until it is brought into the light to create greater conscious awareness and understanding of new possibilities from the perspective of your adult and Greater Self.

 Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, a Master Wellness and Well-being Life Coach, and a Person-Centered Expressive Therapist. She works with clients all over the world with Resonance Repatterning sessions that work with personal and generational unconscious material to facilitate this process of updating your body-mind system to experience greater integrity in your wellness and well-being.

This is your personal invitation to continue on the path with monthly healing modalities and repatterning events from Windows to the Heart Repatterning. Sign up for monthly newsletter here: Newsletter and Exclusive Re-pattern Your Life Events

Read More

Posted by Kimberly Rex

Wild Geese: Inspiration for Your Life

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
~ Mary Oliver ~

Inspiration from Wild Geese Poem

1.. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles repenting.

  The places in your life where you feel resentment, anger, and guilt are where you are resonating with unfinished business from the past. Make time for understanding and forgiveness. Bring self-compassion into your body-mind system with each breath. In every moment is the opportunity to see the world in the present from a more self-loving place.

Your parents, boss, partner, ex- and your earlier evolution of self did the best possible based on self-awareness at the time. It is not the experience you had in the past, but your resonance with the event today through your thoughts, beliefs, and unresolved tension stored in your body-mind system, which makes the difference between feeling stuck or the ability to move forward.

The opportunity is to look at your needs that were not met underneath in the earlier experience, and to bring greater understanding and compassion to the message within that needs support and healing. Take the higher lesson and message into your life in the present. This will allow you to apply what you have learned to what is unfolding in front of you today. It will create greater life energy flow, discernment, and new possibilities.

You are only able to experience as much love, joy, and feeling of being centered and empowered to the degree you are able to feel all of your emotions.  Allowing them to create insight, awareness, and inspiration creates a new possibility of healing in your life

2. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.

As you feel more at home within yourself, you then can take nurture from home, the Earth itself. Gratitude and appreciation for all the ways you are taken care of, looked after, and have had needs met help you to feel more grounded. Spending time in nature and in your heart with gratitude and appreciation are important tools for your health and relationships.

  It helps you feel more oriented to the present and creates a feeling of more safety and trust. It allows your body-mind system to work more effectively. When you apply this anchor feeling to your current life situations, it helps you to be more aware of your self-care needs, and to register where you need to spend time introspectively, and when to spend time with others to share the warmth and joy of connection. Like the seasons of change in Nature, there is a time for everything: to rest, to create, to be more active, to harvest, and to let go.

3. The world offers itself to your imagination calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –over and over announcing your place in the family of things.

You are an integral part of the interwoven web of connection. Geese fly in a formation that allows each member to care for one another and to help the entire group. The benefits: more uplift and less exhaustion between members flying long distances. These times are extraordinary. As a planet, and as humanity, we must work to protect life while enhancing our connection to life-enhancing practices. It is vital for us to work together for sustainability and the health of one another.

At times, it may feel as though the distance is too far or too difficult. However, at this pivotal time, working together to sustain life creates benefits for everyone. Know that you have a part in this journey we are all experiencing at this time. Tune into your heart and explore your part!

Wild Geese Poem by Mary Oliver from New and Selected Poems, V

Kimberly is a Certified Master Life Coach, Advanced Resonance Repatterning®Practitioner, and Person-Centered Expressive Therapist. She works with clients all over the world to help you achieve your positive life goals by phone, Skype, in-person, or proxy.

Read More

Posted by Kimberly Rex

Finding Neutral to Create Positive Change in Your Life

Finding neutral to create positive change in your life is a way to build greater harmony and balance in your body-mind system. When you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or depleted, finding neutral benefits your ability to slow down so you can become aware and choose what you would like to experience within. By doing so, you become more conscious of sensory input, and focus on what is important to you.

Thoughts create emotions. Emotions create responses. The connection between your thoughts and emotions is tempered by internal beliefs and memories that contribute to your experience of life. In any experience, you can go through a range of feelings that allow you to process or resolve what is happening. Emotional states are different in that they can be the direction or undercurrent of what your feelings are responding to over time. It is important to know that you are not your feelings. They are not tattoos. They are expressions of what you are experiencing in the now like waves on the ocean that ebb and flow.

Emotional states are guideposts. They create opportunities for insight. Your response or reaction to any situation is influenced by your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. They are not bad or good, however, they can offer you a map to discover what is underneath self-limiting patterns as well as what creates empowering experiences. Finding neutral allows you to choose how you respond to life comes from your ability to work with emotions by noticing their sense of heaviness or lightness, length of time, depth, repetitive thought patterns, self-talk, or feelings.

Finding Neutral to Create Choice

Like going into an automatic car wash, you go in with the intention to clean or wash your car. When you pull into the space, you are asked to place your car in neutral. The purpose of neutral is to separate the action of the engine from the wheels so that you are not idling, moving forward, or backward without choice. At the same time, you are not in park or stuck.

.For the purpose of working with this metaphor, imagine your time inside a car wash. What is your experience while you wait? Can you find neutral in this experience? Begin by bringing your attention to your breathing. What are you experiencing in this moment? What are you feeling inside? Where are you feeling these sensations?

Now bring your focus to what is happening around you. Notice what you see as the water and brushes sweep over the sides of your car. Are you able to then shift your focus to just noticing the sounds of the water on the car? Now return to focusing on your breath. Get in touch with what feels different even if slightly. Finding neutral can expand your awareness and also press reset on where and what you want to focus on next with your experience.

Dis-empowering or empowering beliefs create different perspectives of life. As an example, staying with the car analogy, let’s say two people are on a road trip. One person looks out the window and sees bad drivers, negative bumper stickers, and roadkill while the other person sees a hawk in the sky, and notices cloud formations, and a rainbow. What’s different? It’s the same road, however, it is a different view. You can imagine that the first person’s body stance and visual field are tense with shallow breathing while the second person might be breathing more fully with eyes wide to take in the beauty of the scenery. There might even be a smile on the second person’s face while there could be a grimace on the first. This illustrates how seemingly the same road trip can be completely different stimulated by particular thoughts and emotions. These, then, trigger physical responses.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”~Viktor E. Frankl

Read more about Viktor Frankl’s thoughts on this topic related to Resonance Repatterning here.

Finding Neutral by Working with Your Reticular Activating System

What if you could use finding neutral to choose your attitude and your own way? The Reticular Activating System (RAS) is scattered throughout your brain stem in the Reptilian or Survival Brain. It functions as the gatekeeper of sensory information allowed into your consciousness through selecting what is most important. This influences what you are awake, alert to, and aware of in your environment.

The RAS manages the transition between levels of consciousness and controls what is prioritized with a focus on what is important through the lens of your present reality.

The Reticular Activating System influences your fight or flight response, sleep and wake transitions, motor control, the experience of pain, muscle reflexes, focus, attention, goal-setting, and habituation. The nerve fibers of the RAS region make connections between your body and mind. For the RAS to be triggered, signal activity needs to occur in your sensory pathways, that are connected with it. Your thoughts, emotions, and chemical responses are continuously working with learned behaviors, habits, and conditioning to contribute to your interpretation of sensory input.

It turns out that your Reticular Activating System does not know the difference between what is actual, what is created by triggers from the past or new triggers you create for it. The experience of imagining being inside a car wash is a great example. Neurotransmitters and neuro-associations, the links between sensory input, your thoughts, and emotions create your experience. The fact is that you can find neutral to create new neural pathways to allow a shift in energy levels, neuro-chemicals, and brain states. This happens by using your inner software to create positive change.

Finding Neutral with What is Important to You

Like the RAS, you can consciously choose to ask yourself, “What is important to me?” “What is important to me to create a life of meaning?” “What feels like it no longer needs to have a place in my life?” “What is no longer serving my Highest Good?” “What is limiting me?” and “What lessons have I learned that is important to my life today? And tomorrow?” Consider these questions with compassion for yourself. Expanding your awareness with the narrative of your beliefs, attitudes, and thoughts will begin to shift the story your body-mind system is responding to in the present and begin the process of creating new pathways each time.

Finding Neutral in Your Body-Mind System

Your life story has evolved through different stages over time. Some of the chapters might seem more pleasant than others. However, in each chapter, there are memories that can bring happiness, sadness, hurt, grief, or wonder. Take what is most important from these pages of your life.

Some of these memories intertwine sadness with joy. That’s okay. You need these emotions to know the depth of love, caring, and needs while strengthening your values and connection to your True Self. Reframing your past experiences unlocks freedom and understanding. Take what will serve you in your life today, and create new pages with the gifts of these lessons.

Changing your triggers or cues that cause you to spiral down into negative emotions or thoughts creates proactive benefits to build new patterns. After you take inventory of your goals and positive intentions for what is important in your life, you can also look at what keeps you from moving forward with them. Many times triggers and cues from the past can keep you stuck. There might be environmental, social, or beliefs about your roles in life that contribute to guilt or shame imprinted into your belief system. Examining your roles, your beliefs, and self-limiting responses to life build awareness about what you need to move forward.

As an example, let’s consider music that you are playing on a road trip. Let’s say you are listening to music, and you hear a song that brings you back to an earlier time in your life when you felt sad because it reminds you of a person or relationship. This is a trigger. It can space you out, change your mood, and even make you cry. Negative triggers like sound, environment, smell, or seeing something associated with a painful memory can change how you feel. These triggers are different for everyone. Pain can keep you stuck in places unable to start or move forward with the next steps. So creating life-energizing cues can build a path toward more optimal positive and sustainable change.

This allows you to choose where you focus and place your attention when you feel overwhelmed or depleted. Knowing that you can count on positive actions like getting in touch with your breath, working with an empowering memory, change your body stance to change internal states is beneficial to your body-mind system.

Getting to know what works best for you to shift your focus naturally builds the pathways to positive change. Talking with someone to listen to you on the phone, eating whole foods that nourish your neurotransmitters, taking a walk in nature in the woods or the beach, dancing, or listening to music that calms or inspires you are all examples of ways to shift your focus to life-empowering emotional states, thoughts, and actions to allow you to experience more life-energizing states.

Windows to the Heart Repatterning works with holistic processes designed to re-pattern your life with Resonance Repatterning and Repattern Your Life Coaching. These processes work with natural modalities designed specifically for your body-mind system to create life-enhancing patterns that build integrity in your wellness and well-being!

Kimberly Rex, MS is a certified Advanced Resonance Repatterning® and Master Life Coach. She is also a Person-Centered Expressive Therapist. She works with clients all over the world by phone, Skype, and proxy.

Sign up for our monthly free newsletter to receive beneficial natural modalities, exclusive repatterning opportunities, and articles on wellness and well-being here.

Read More