pen and ink by Kimberly Rex www.windowstotheheart.net
As a Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, I work with people who are experiencing anger, grief, and depression. Many times, these emotions come from loss, physical and emotional stress, or unresolved issues from a relationship in their own life. However, many times, the information stems from the unconscious or “unknown” from past generations. Even if the client doesn’t know about a family member or situation from the past, a Family Systems session based on the Family Constellations work of Bert Hellinger, and the use of the muscle-checking process in Resonance Repatterning, can tap into your resonance with systemic issues of exclusion, war, untimely death, poverty, disease, separation, perpetration, or victimhood of members of your system.
If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people. ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Honoring the messages from all your relations affects how you see and experience life in the present. * All names in the following 3 case studies were changed and situations shared with permission.
All family members need to be given a place in your system. When a member is excluded, victimized or is a perpetrator in the system without resolution or healing, a new member in the family system will often take on the burden or experience of a previous member of the system out of loyalty or love to give them a place in trying to resolve or heal the experience.
You may not even know Aunt Annabel or Great Uncle Harry, but there is a message of healing in understanding how their lives affected your thinking and your view of life.
Case Study 1*: Erin came in to work with issues of grief and depression. She was struggling with food issues related to borderline anorexia and had difficulties keeping her finances balanced. She experienced loss in relationships over and over. In Resonance Repatterning sessions, she discovered that one of the primary issues with these struggles was the resonance she had with taking on the destiny of her brother who died a tragic death when she was 32. Through loyalty and love she was making a sacrifice of life energy through not eating, and processing loss after loss both financially and emotionally. Through a Family Systems repatterning, she worked with accepting the destiny of her brother’s death and received energetic permission in a visualization modality to continue in life and experience good with the blessings of her brother. As she continued to work, she found that there had been a pattern within her system that included loss of life through suicides and tragic deaths that had been repeated through generational imprints. The family had repeated this cyclic pattern of violence to self for generations. Erin had not had this information consciously, but when she started doing research, found that this was true. After working with ending the cycle of violence within her own life, Erin was then able to start to take nurture and feel as though she could take care of her life’s energy and savings.
Case Study 2: Alex, a person who was working with issues of depression, worked on issues related to lack of money and wanting to break away from his family so he could experience greater peace. One of his grandparents had lived in poverty and was ostracized by other family members. The conflict and experience of being victimized were translated into Alex’s life depression and a lack of vital energy. Out of loyalty and love, Alex was giving his grandparent a place in the family by taking on the characteristics of grief, depression, and poverty. Through repatterning, Alex was able to give his grandfather a place in the system and to resonate with taking the love from his grandparent as he placed himself as the little one instead of taking the grandparent’s place in the system. In this way, he was released from the burden and was able to feel more at ease, and at home in his own skin.
Case Study 3: Karen was working on anxiety issues and moving towards experiencing life more fully. In fact, she would say repeatedly, “Every time I take action to solve my problems, it’s as if I am invisible. No one hears me. Nothing works out. It’s as if the Universe is against me.”
In a Family Systems session and the muscle-checking system used in Resonance Repatterning, the issue was identified as being related to an unresolved traumatic experience in her family. In checking further, it was found that it was related to her father. At the same time, Karen had delayed going to the dentist, and a positive action checked in over and over again through muscle-checking in her sessions that she needed to see a dentist. But, she could not seem to take the next step forward for self-care. It checked that this was related to an event related to her father. I asked Karen if this perhaps was an anniversary of a traumatic event in her family such as death, divorce, illness, or abuse. Karen was not sure. However, when Karen did her research, she found that her father, a veteran of war, had been removed from a mission during World War II due to an infection that required that he see a dentist. The result of the mission was that all the soldiers died. Her father was the only surviving person due to his need to be treated medically. He did not talk much about it in his life. The date of the mission in World War II checked in for the same week historically as the session itself!
Karen was carrying information about her father’s experience into her life as a way to honor him and the victims of war. Through a sacrifice of life in the present, an attempt was being made to bring this to light and to express the message of love for all the people in her system who experienced trauma, including both the perpetrators and victims. Through this process, she worked to end the internal cycle of violence by seeing them at peace.
In truth, we each have a part of ourselves that lives through the lens of perpetrator and victim. Awareness, acceptance, insight, compassion, and forgiveness allow there to be more harmony and peace. This can show up internally as well when you sabotage or diminish the value of your own life through self-destructive thoughts and actions, addictions, internal blame, harmful habits, and negative relationships, and can lead to less vital life energy overall.
When you experience the victim aspect, you may overexert without taking into account your own needs or blame others for your situation. This can show up as feeling like you have overdrawn on your emotional bank account. This leads to a sense of feeling powerlessness or having a personal choice. In turn, fear, anger and depression affect how you see the world. In both cases, it creates more upset and conflict than serenity inside. It gets amplified in all your relationships: known and unknown!
The opportunity in working with family system issues and internalized effects of perpetrator and victim is to listen more deeply to the meaning behind your feelings. The conflict of generational disharmony may be speaking through your life today. And, at this moment, you can heal and contribute greater peace to your family system in your family line and for future generations. Making peace with each part of yourself and your family system allows you to then resonate with greater support, compassion, and vital life energy to face life with more harmony in the present!
Read more about Family Systems here: https://www.windowstotheheart.net/repatterning-2/what-is-family-systems-insight-from-a-therapist/
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