Posted by Kimberly Rex
Hosting Love Within
Hosting love in your life starts from within. This is created by nourishing safety and trust in your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs you choose to communicate and act upon in any given moment . It is rooted in self-love, setting healthy boundaries, self-reflection and self-regulation.
“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.” ~Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Hosting Love Begins with Self-Love
Self-love leads to self care. This means that you develop compassion for your life on the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual levels. By doing so you embrace all of the parts of yourself that experienced pain as well as the parts that have been there for you when you needed to meet challenges. Being able to listen to what is happening within gives you information that supports your beliefs, thoughts and behaviors that have molded your life, as well as giving you a template to work with to sculpt the new life you would like to experience
Early in life, your response systems to stress were structured by what you learned from your family and caregivers. Difficulty loving yourself shows up in your adult relationships when you have experienced a painful experiences created by absence, inconsistency, or abuse that instilled a lack of safety and trust.
As you learn to compassionately take care of your needs and wants in life today, you give yourself a way to ground and expand your awareness beyond your automatic responses. This allows you to be present in the moment with a more expansive view of what you are experiencing. It also then allows you to call up on these insights to see what is happening with other people.
Hosting Love with Healthy Boudaries
Boundaries are necessary for your health and well-being. Your body gives you signals that tell you when you feel elated or ill at ease. Your stomach might churn, your muscles tighten, and your heartbeat races. Over time when you do not establish boundaries based on what will create safety and security for your wellness and well-being, your body signals in stronger messages. This could include headaches, difficulty with digestion, physical mobility, or life-depleting conditions. These signals speak to you on the cellular level to express the need for establishing limits.
Through resonance on the unconscious level, you will continue to draw to you the relationships that contain the puzzle pieces of your early Social Engagement System.Your adult relationships will continue to give you the components of your first relationship with your parents. The limiting embodied protective automatic responses will create anxiety, stress, mistrust, fear of being vulnerable, emotional unavailability, neediness, or caretaking,
Your system might have learned to tough it out, tolerate or ignore signals that indicate danger or boundary crossing due to conflict resolution styles of your parents, abandonment, separation, loss, traumatic experiences or addiction to guard against pain.
Today, as an adult, when faced with the need to set a healthy boundary in your life for yourself or with others, you might not speak up, lash out, isolate, leave, or attempt to please the other to keep the peace. Your system defaults to early and habitual patterns you learned to handle trauma.
Loving yourself gives you the ability to connect to others in new ways that create discernment, safety and trust. It allows you to trust your internal feelings, body sensations and values. By doing so you create a healthy environment for trusting yourself and others that are worthy of trust, moving toward what is life-enhancing or away from what is life-depleting to allow healthy bonding and connection with self-care and boundaries in place.
Anatomy of Trust with B.R.A.V.I.N.G. from Brene’ Brown
Hosting Love with Self Reflection
Hosting love with self-reflection is key to healing limiting beliefs, thoughts and automatic reactions is through bringing to awareness or making conscious how these limiting patterns established through your life and Family System. Your parents and likely their parents experienced these life-depleting ways of dealing with closeness and conflict. You received this teaching through their words, actions and behaviors. The resulting negative beliefs get projected onto your adult relationships with automatic limiting beliefs such as “Love causes pain,”You cannot trust (fill in the blank),” It is my fault,” “They will leave me,”“Love hurts.” (They is used to represent any type of relationship).
It is important to acknowledge that you have the ability to work with and change these automatic reactions from the past by examining the roadmap of these patterns when they come up.According to Gabriella Kortsch, PhD, self-regulation starts with your intention and desire to become aware enough to be reflective with your ability to notice how you are perceiving whatever is happening. This includes your ability to notice how you are reacting and interpreting what is happening through your thoughts, feelings and inner dialogue. This awareness then leads you to remembering that you have choices about next steps throughout the entire process, and you can choose what is good for your own life.
Hosting Love with Self Regulation/Soothing
Taking time to self-reflect is vital to hosting love within.This is where choices show up. Triggers show up in everyone’s life. Smoking, drinking, binging, shopping, high risk or adrenalin rising behaviors, overeating, shopping, binge watching movies, workaholism, etc. can be external go-to’s when unease arises. While this might work on a short term basis, this doesn’t lead to resolving the issues so you can experience something new in your life related to what you would truly like to experience.
How you regulate your response to triggers that create agitation, anxiety, fear, grief and pain that numb or delay the pain temporarily feeds the established neural pathways of pain from the past, or you can choose natural ways to create nurture and support within.
Hosting love by choosing natural ways to self-soothe to create calm in your system trains your body-mind-spirit system by regulating how you respond to stress leads to greater wellness and well-being for the long-term. You are designed for self-healing. Focusing on new go-to’s that respond to the question, “Is this kind?” while considering next steps is a great way to work with Self-Reflection.Will the response you choose lead to new healing pathways within by activating your Sympathetic Nervous System (rest, digest, calm, and heal)? Will the choices strengthen your ability to host more love within as you navigate your life and relationships?
The following two articles give you some ideas for this purpose:by finding neutral to create positive change in your life and using your innate senses to create natural endorphin stress responses. You can explore this website for other natural modalities including breath, movement, acupressure, meditation, gratitude, aromatherapy, light, sound, etc. for more ideas.
Posted by Kimberly Rex
Taking the Compassionate Journey of Healing Within
I attended a conference in Mexico over a decade ago where a speaker talked about the necessary journey in our lives. She talked about healing within as your spiritual journey through life.
This evolution is more of a spiral than a straight line. So bringing mindfulness, kindness, and understanding to your life is essential to reach your heart through joys, trials, and challenges so you take part in creating your own destiny through the compassionate journey of healing within.
This journey shows up in the appointments you have with essential learning that are brought to the surface to metabolize emotions in the process of your being human on this planet where there is so much to process.
The threshold of learning happens where and when you are challenged with external events that are paired with an inner conflict related to your feelings, attitudes, and beliefs. Some events in our lives seem to have greater gravitational force than others. Events of great joy, as well as great sorrow, take you into deeper dialogue with your soul, to the questions about the meaning of your own life and your purpose. These are particular times, no matter how difficult it seems related to the cultural, familial, and gender expectations of you, you have the invitation to engage and embark on the adventure of taking the compassionate journey of healing within for growth and transformation.
Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. ~Brene Brown
Creating the Compassionate Journey with Courage and Acceptance
Challenges show up in relationships, obstacles, forks in the road, and seeming dead ends. The Universe uses everything to involve you in the journey: relationships, situations, emotions, etc. The choices that present themselves when difficulties show up, messages, or learning is what it is attempting to get your attention to expand your awareness.
Challenges are here to awaken you and even if you’re awakening, life continuously gives you challenges and then the awakening accelerates and deepens. ~ Eckhart Tolle
An issue might keep showing up and then escalate to create even more pain and intensity until you are ready to sit with the meaning of the need for significant inner change. I have fondly called this “the lesson of the 2 x 4.” I say fondly because it is how much persuasion it takes to finally get that things are not working out no matter how many times attempted to get things to turn out another way. You know the adage, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” ~ Unknown
Shame, guilt, hurt, anger, hopelessness, or fear can keep you from looking at another possibility for a new or broader vision of life. However, these feelings do point to the healing journey to transform us. It is important to work with these inner signals, to digest, metabolize and integrate them to take their higher lessons. In a world where it is difficult to sit with anything or have time to process, taking time with your inner feelings is essential to create positive change in your wellness and well-being.
It’s very important that we re-learn the art of resting and relaxing. Not only does it help prevent the onset of many illnesses that develop through chronic tension and worrying; it allows us to clear our minds, focus, and find creative solutions to problems. ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Many times the desire to make something work out with the perception of the past is based on re-acting out something that needs your attention to heal and update. You might not have had the support or nurture to work out the original pain or situation at the time. However, tuning into the place that makes you vulnerable today creates the openness that allows you to bring awareness to the underlying need, feelings, and beliefs that keep you entangled in the pattern from the past. It is essential to unlocking the lesson from your unhealed limiting earlier experience to change the patterns you are living in the present.
The truth is that your current experience of life is based on your beliefs, thoughts, and attitudes about yourself, the world, and others. When you change your perception of what you are experiencing within, you change how you interact and respond to life allowing you to live more from your potential through a greater connection to truth, love, and compassion for your inner needs and feelings. This, in turn, allows you to see more of your self. In doing so, you are then able to see more of others. Through empathy, your compassion ripples out into the world to create new connections and new possibilities for being in the world.
Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality, it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness. ~Eckhart Tolle
Building a Bridge to New Possibilities for Your Life
Resonance Repatterning® is a compassionate healing journey to unlock where, when, and how a limiting or depleting situation, belief, or attitude still affects your life today. There are processes within the protocols that diffuse and release the disrupted, blocked or constricted energy that limits your ability to find a new way of interacting with life. The process also includes fusing or returning energy to your body-mind system that has been lost through trauma, loss, shock, or pain so that you actually have more life energy to dedicate to the positive intentions you have for your life. This creates greater integrity in your wellness and well-being allowing you to experience more love, joy, a sense of hope, a feeling of being centered, and empowered.
Would you like to receive natural ways to build greater harmony and balance in your wellness and well-being? Here is an opportunity with monthly healing modalities and repatterning events from Windows to the Heart Repatterning.
Sign up for monthly newsletter here: Newsletter and Exclusive Re-pattern Your Life Events
Re-pattern your life to experience greater integrity in your wellness and well-being!
Read More