Being in Transition

Being in transition can change your past, present, and future. We live as though everything has a logical sequential process. However, when the number of transitions you experience escalates, this can change how you deal with the steps you take, the amount of time to complete a process, and your ability to integrate change.

The rate of change in our lives has accelerated especially in recent years with the rise of technology and the impact of the global issues created by the pandemic, climate change, and financial instability. In the midst of all of this change, it is important to acknowledge that you are affected by both personal and collective levels. The increasing number of transitions you experience at once translates into the need for a more non-linear way of looking at what is happening to you.

Being in Transition as a Way of Life

The number of transitions that you go through has both linear and non-linear characteristics. According to Bruce Feiler, this acceleration of change in our lives is intensified by the chaos and complexity of daily living. Research shows an average of 3-5 life changes every 5 years cumulatively taking up half of your adult life.

These life disruptors include the changes and transitions you experience in your relationships, work, sense of identity, body image, as well as your money. Extreme life changes might include the loss or change in home, of friends and family, or your job. Illness, self-esteem, traumatic events, energy levels, moving from one place to another, or change in your energy levels due to the stress that life changes have caused. This all can contribute to an overall feeling of loss of stability, safety, trust, or security.

While some transitions are more extreme than others, the tools of the linear world might not feel as productive as expected. The mechanics of the logical linear world applied to starting, pacing yourself, pausing, giving up, or even starting over again might need more time for being with the process as it unfolds than for a recipe or formula. As the world continues to feel like a tossed salad, it’s important to acknowledge that you have a home within yourself that can be nourished by giving yourself the room to be in transition so you can take in the depth of the multi-linear and non-linear transitions you are experiencing personally and we are all experiencing together.

Being in Transition in a Changing World

The way you look at your own life is also translated into how you see the world. So what power do you have with all of this change happening all at once? The important news is that within you is a well of strength that has gone through challenges in the past. These parts are available to you now. Allowing the parts of your life experience that are stuck or confused to get to know the other parts of yourself that have met challenges successfully can create an empowering give-and-take to support you in the present.

Acknowledging your current emotions to meet the current challenges and transition expectations then become non-linear. It is the strength and compassion you have acquired over time that the earlier parts of yourself that still carry limiting beliefs, attitudes, and concepts of time that need to become more acquainted. This creates the space so that the essence of your life experience in your body-mind-spirit system can integrate with the greater parts of yourself as a resource for positive change. This means that fear, sadness, shame, anger, loneliness, hurt, guilt, anger, confusion, and hurt can point to your real need for self-care for what you are meeting in the world today.

In the process of change, Bruce Feiler speaks to three parts of working with transition in a way that moves, redirects, and changes order: a) The Long Goodbye b) The Messy Middle and c) the New Beginning. He suggests starting with your strength whether it be an attempt to try something new, staying in the moment with the messages and emotions you are experiencing; or working with the steps of grieving in no particular order or time in an attempt to work with what emerges or works best for you. This acknowledges the non-linear nature of true change over time. You are accompanied by the thought and feelings of each of these parts while at the same time responding to daily tasks. When you honor your inner value and truth, the pace of life you experience is more authentically tied to your needs in your personal process.

Being Transition with What You Value

No matter where you begin, it can be a time to start to value more what you know you love about yourself and take the support you need in the transition process. It can also be a time to seek out mentors and friends who can share the process.

It is essential to nourish your vital being and essence in the process of change. This could be creating through dance, art, writing, baking, ritual, or pacing yourself, while also learning new behaviors and habits. It is time to ask yourself these questions. “What do I need to let go of, learn, or move toward to create the space for speaking and living my values in my communication and actions in this transition? What can this life trauma, or lesson teach me about what I would like to create with new possibilities?“

When the best timing for integration emerges, begin to see that you are not slamming the door on the past or throwing it away. You are, like nature, using the compost of life to begin a new chapter. Take the messages and the soul weight that has been created by your journey, and use it for new possibilities.

Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning®practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy.

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