Posted by Kimberly Rex
Hosting Love Within
Hosting love in your life starts from within. This is created by nourishing safety and trust in your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs you choose to communicate and act upon in any given moment . It is rooted in self-love, setting healthy boundaries, self-reflection and self-regulation.
“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.” ~Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Hosting Love Begins with Self-Love
Self-love leads to self care. This means that you develop compassion for your life on the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual levels. By doing so you embrace all of the parts of yourself that experienced pain as well as the parts that have been there for you when you needed to meet challenges. Being able to listen to what is happening within gives you information that supports your beliefs, thoughts and behaviors that have molded your life, as well as giving you a template to work with to sculpt the new life you would like to experience
Early in life, your response systems to stress were structured by what you learned from your family and caregivers. Difficulty loving yourself shows up in your adult relationships when you have experienced a painful experiences created by absence, inconsistency, or abuse that instilled a lack of safety and trust.
As you learn to compassionately take care of your needs and wants in life today, you give yourself a way to ground and expand your awareness beyond your automatic responses. This allows you to be present in the moment with a more expansive view of what you are experiencing. It also then allows you to call up on these insights to see what is happening with other people.
Hosting Love with Healthy Boudaries
Boundaries are necessary for your health and well-being. Your body gives you signals that tell you when you feel elated or ill at ease. Your stomach might churn, your muscles tighten, and your heartbeat races. Over time when you do not establish boundaries based on what will create safety and security for your wellness and well-being, your body signals in stronger messages. This could include headaches, difficulty with digestion, physical mobility, or life-depleting conditions. These signals speak to you on the cellular level to express the need for establishing limits.
Through resonance on the unconscious level, you will continue to draw to you the relationships that contain the puzzle pieces of your early Social Engagement System.Your adult relationships will continue to give you the components of your first relationship with your parents. The limiting embodied protective automatic responses will create anxiety, stress, mistrust, fear of being vulnerable, emotional unavailability, neediness, or caretaking,
Your system might have learned to tough it out, tolerate or ignore signals that indicate danger or boundary crossing due to conflict resolution styles of your parents, abandonment, separation, loss, traumatic experiences or addiction to guard against pain.
Today, as an adult, when faced with the need to set a healthy boundary in your life for yourself or with others, you might not speak up, lash out, isolate, leave, or attempt to please the other to keep the peace. Your system defaults to early and habitual patterns you learned to handle trauma.
Loving yourself gives you the ability to connect to others in new ways that create discernment, safety and trust. It allows you to trust your internal feelings, body sensations and values. By doing so you create a healthy environment for trusting yourself and others that are worthy of trust, moving toward what is life-enhancing or away from what is life-depleting to allow healthy bonding and connection with self-care and boundaries in place.
Anatomy of Trust with B.R.A.V.I.N.G. from Brene’ Brown
Hosting Love with Self Reflection
Hosting love with self-reflection is key to healing limiting beliefs, thoughts and automatic reactions is through bringing to awareness or making conscious how these limiting patterns established through your life and Family System. Your parents and likely their parents experienced these life-depleting ways of dealing with closeness and conflict. You received this teaching through their words, actions and behaviors. The resulting negative beliefs get projected onto your adult relationships with automatic limiting beliefs such as “Love causes pain,”You cannot trust (fill in the blank),” It is my fault,” “They will leave me,”“Love hurts.” (They is used to represent any type of relationship).
It is important to acknowledge that you have the ability to work with and change these automatic reactions from the past by examining the roadmap of these patterns when they come up.According to Gabriella Kortsch, PhD, self-regulation starts with your intention and desire to become aware enough to be reflective with your ability to notice how you are perceiving whatever is happening. This includes your ability to notice how you are reacting and interpreting what is happening through your thoughts, feelings and inner dialogue. This awareness then leads you to remembering that you have choices about next steps throughout the entire process, and you can choose what is good for your own life.
Hosting Love with Self Regulation/Soothing
Taking time to self-reflect is vital to hosting love within.This is where choices show up. Triggers show up in everyone’s life. Smoking, drinking, binging, shopping, high risk or adrenalin rising behaviors, overeating, shopping, binge watching movies, workaholism, etc. can be external go-to’s when unease arises. While this might work on a short term basis, this doesn’t lead to resolving the issues so you can experience something new in your life related to what you would truly like to experience.
How you regulate your response to triggers that create agitation, anxiety, fear, grief and pain that numb or delay the pain temporarily feeds the established neural pathways of pain from the past, or you can choose natural ways to create nurture and support within.
Hosting love by choosing natural ways to self-soothe to create calm in your system trains your body-mind-spirit system by regulating how you respond to stress leads to greater wellness and well-being for the long-term. You are designed for self-healing. Focusing on new go-to’s that respond to the question, “Is this kind?” while considering next steps is a great way to work with Self-Reflection.Will the response you choose lead to new healing pathways within by activating your Sympathetic Nervous System (rest, digest, calm, and heal)? Will the choices strengthen your ability to host more love within as you navigate your life and relationships?
The following two articles give you some ideas for this purpose:by finding neutral to create positive change in your life and using your innate senses to create natural endorphin stress responses. You can explore this website for other natural modalities including breath, movement, acupressure, meditation, gratitude, aromatherapy, light, sound, etc. for more ideas.
Posted by Kimberly Rex
Healing Ourselves, Healing the Earth
As we enter Earth Day Week, it is important to acknowledge the part we play in the process of taking care of the thread within us and the threads that connect to all other life on this beautiful planet.
“At this very moment, the Earth is above you, below you, all around you, and even inside you. The Earth is everywhere. You may be used to thinking of the Earth as only the ground beneath your feet. But the water, the sea, the sky, and everything around us comes from the Earth. Everything outside us and everything inside us comes from the Earth. We often forget that the planet we are living on has given us all the elements that make up our bodies. The water in our flesh, our bones, and all the microscopic cells inside our bodies all come from the Earth and are part of the Earth. The Earth is not just the environment we live in. We are the Earth and we are always carrying her within us.”~Thich Nhat Hanh
The Five Element and Meridian System is based on the wisdom of nature.The earth and your body function in an interconnected way . All of the elements support, balance and harmonize each other while creating greater integrity in the function of individual parts within the unified system.
It’s All About Relationship
This means, for example, that Wood Element, prominent in spring.is a time of new growth, planning and hope coming out of the seaon of winter and moving toward summer. On the physical level it is related to your Liver and Gallbladder. Its primary sense is your vision. This element ‘s primary purpose is processing toxins, anger and frustration. The coherent spirit of this element creates growth, optimism, hope and unhesitating action.
If the Wood Element pathway is unable to naturally flow, it is a signal to look at the qualities of relationship with other meridians. There is a place for each of the elements on each pathway. This includes the wisdom, support and nurture from each of the other organ systems and seasons to create harmony and balance. This collaboration enhances communication that results in more optimal functioning throughout the system.
This happens by identifying the issue in the primary element itself. For the purpose of this article, we will continue to consider Wood Element, and the beneficial qualities of some of these relationships. Let’s take a closer look at the Shen Cycle (mother-child or feeding relationship), Ko Cycle (limiting or balancing relationship) and the order or disharmony between element in the overall flow of energy in the body. By working with other elements, it is possible to support the function of the identified element to enhance greater harmony and balance throughout the system.
Shen Cycle: Water on Wood to Create Harmony
In nature water is vital to feeding new growth. This is a nourishing Mother-Child relationship.Throughout nature water is life. In spring, water nourishes new growth. It is the creative juice that allows for new beginnings and change.
Water Element places you more in the natural flow of life and its creative energy. This allows you to be more clearly in touch with your inner reserves of cleverness to support your vision for life as you let go of fear while pacing yourself over time.When you drink water you nourish the communication within your bio-energetic body-mind-spirit system, and this can diminish pain while also supporting more optimal brain-body connection. The fluids of your body circulate, transform, support, and protect your body-mind-spirit system. These fluids also allow you to let go of that which is not beneficial to your system.
Ko Cycle: Metal on Wood for Balance
New growth emerges from the Earth with purpose. It provides shelter, food and space for new life. Metal Element qualities offers value when considering new beginnings. These points on Wood Element meridians offer strength and courage in your life that call you to new possibilities. This is helpful when your life feels meaningless or your self esteem is low. This point invites you to recognize who you truly are and to express your unique qualities. It supports you in finding value with your choices when you have more than one decision to make while letting go of what no longer serves you.
Fire on Wood to Create Order and Harmony in the System
“In nature nothing exists alone.”~Rachel Carson
Fire Element follows Wood on the Five Element and Meridian Wheel. At times the following element can be out of balance, and this affects the previous element’s ability to function and flow. In this case, Fire Element, the child of Wood Element might be challenged with imbalance related to discernment, intolerance, long term agitation, anxiety, or anger. Fire Element points on the Wood Element Meridian bring warmth through humor and compassion.
This is helpful when you need more joy and creativity to relieve the congestion in your Wood Element locked in anger and judgment to create balance. Fire on Wood assists with sorting through what is truly in your heart for your greatest good aligned with your vision for life. From this place Wood Element can then take optimism and hope to take action that will create positive growth in your life while connecting to your heart.
Earth on Wood Element for Grounding
The soil of the Earth itself provides roots and stability during growth. Earth Element offers nurture, support, and grounding as you process change. It allows you to feel more at home in your body no matter where you are in this world. This can be especially beneficial when you feel toppled or overwhelmed by feelings of frustration or obstacles in your life. So it can be helpful when you are stuck in details without the ability to access a long-term plan. Earth Element points on Wood Element Meridian bring you back to your center through your senses with your core self.
The Earth is Speaking
The Earth reports in on what is happening to its resources and elements through Earth events and climate change. So it is important to acknowledge that the elements and systems of the earth are letting us know the importance of connecting the dots between water, the soil, sun, air, weather changes, plants, animals and trees in relation to each other to give value and quality care to life in all its forms.
The planet tends to imbalances to create greater harmony and balance. In the braid of connection with the Earth we are entwined in every breath, every glass of water we drink, every plant we are nourished by, every animal that brings gifts to the world for survival and companionship.. It is vital to listen to the messages the Earth is sending to each of us. You can feel and see the changes happening all around you.This conversation is happening with your choices impacting the whole.Through mindfulness you can be the needed element for sustainable and regenerative support and change on the planet locally and at large.
“There is no difference between healing ourselves and healing the Earth.”
~Thich Nhat Hanh, Love Letter to the Earth
Your body-mind-spirit system gives you messages in an attemtpt to get your attention. These are signals to motivate you to tend to your own wellness and well-being. You are a thread in the tapestry of life. Through self-care you receive the benefits from all the elements of the Earth. In return you can be a steward who contributes to the interdependent flow of life by enhancing the connection in the natural tapesty of life that connects us all. A new book release etntitled, Life As We Know It (Can Be) written by Bill Weir can give you some ideas for this purpose.
This is your personal invitation to experience a 30-Minute Personal Meridian Repatterning to create optimal energy flow in your body-mind-spirit system. This repatterning quickly gets to the root of what is needed on the emotional, mental, physical and spirit levels. Through resonance muscle-checking and the Resonance Repatterning process, a session starts by identifying specifics related to issues limiting your ability to experience positive change within by enhancing communication throughout your system.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, by phone, in-person, and by proxy.
Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.
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For Every Season Winter Repatterning
For every season there are many changes. This is an invitation to align your vision for life with grounding, hope, and a sense of wellness, and well-being on every pathway you experience. In this journey through winter, you’ll gain personal insight and inspiration for transforming your own life in a supportive process of self-reflection for growth and transformation along with a Group Resonance Repatterning® session, natural healing, and Expressive Arts modalities.
For Every Season Winter Repatterning Details
The For Every Season Winter Program is about to begin on December 1, 2024, and continue through the month of February 2025.
The Winter Season will include December 2024, January, and February2025 with the topics of self-care as you move through the winter months and the holidays and moving from fear to love with perseverance and resilience into the new year.
This process will give you the following activities for personal growth and reflection:
- Receive poetry with weekly reflections for each month based on topics of moving from fear to love, creating resilience by pacing yourself and perseverance, and taking care of your vital essence.
- Take part in a virtual 60-minute Group Resonance Repatterning where you can use the insight you experienced with your personal reflections to add to the Water Element Repatterning.
- Enjoy an Expressive Arts Therapy Activity to create momentum for new opportunities and possibilities in your life
- Get all reflection and repatterning materials, recordings and directions delivered to your email address at the beginning of each month
How the For Every Season Repatterning Process Works
In December, this process starts with an inspirational poem with weekly reflections focusing on any issues related to the transition from fall to winter in your life. December will focus on your aim and intentions in your life for new possibilities associated with enhancing your life energy while pacing yourself and persevering with your goals for your wellness and well-being.
At the beginning of February, you will have the opportunity to use your reflections and intentions from the For Every Season process in the 60-minute group repatterning for letting go of any residual unfinished energetics interrupting your pathway related to the topics that came up in your reflections. The repatterning process aims to create more coherent life energy and motivation to achieve your positive intentions. The follow-up from the session will include reflections with an expressive arts therapy activity based on the group repatterning to take the benefits of your work through the season into your life more fully for the rest of the year.
Registering for the For Every Season Process
This is your personal invitation to join this journey of personal growth and transformation.
*When you sign up for this program you will be asked to subscribe to a specific list that will give you all the information you need to take part in these beneficial activities. This list is solely for the purpose of this process.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, phone, and proxy. Set up your personal session here.
Find out more about how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.
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Working with the Origins of Pain
Working with the origins of pain takes on many paths. Physical issues are usually associated with pain. it is often defined as a discomfort. However, different forms of pain can change how you view and experience life. It can be embodied in your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about how this pain impacts your ability to meet life. It is also the discontent that creates suffering for the inability to return to the life you had before the trauma, accident or illness occurred.
In some cases, these negative perceptions and limitations expand into proliferation of pain into long- term suffering. The inability to acknowledge what is happening leads to difficulties in processing the need for change to adapt to the life you are presented in current challenges.
The Origins of Personal Pain
Suffering can also be traced to generational patterns. Recently, I read the book, Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents and saw the movie based on the story of the author’s journey in writing the book.. In an interview about the film, the actor who portrayed the author of the book Caste, was asked how she could dive into the grief and pain she worked with in her part, reponded that she carried the generational grief of her ancestors who suffered at the hands of slavery.
There are many stories of people who through acknowledging the truth of a challenging situtation they were experiencing,were then able to use that experience to catapult them into a greater sense of meaning in life. This process included honoring the truth, sharing that knowledge with compassion to others as an instrument of personal and community transformation.
As an example, In the film, Origin, the author experiences three major losses in her life within a 6-month time frame including her husband, her mother and closest friend who was her cousin. The places where you experience emotional pain from loss feels like a separation from love, support and connection, and this can proliferate long-term suffering that limits your access to life.
Too much or too little resistance affects how you approach life. Avoiding pain amplifies suffering by way of intensifying excess immobilized energy within your system. Although your system might perceive this protective mechanism as a way to survive, energetically this interrupts or diconnects you from the pathways toward acceptance, decision-making, and new possibilties. It creates a ripple effect that changes and de-energizes your body-mind-spirit system. Depression, anxiety, guilt and confusion decrease your ability to emerge from suffering without the energy and motivation to move towards what is life-enhancing.
The acceptance on the author’s part in the film came when she realized that she no longer had the words and encougagement from her loved ones who motivated her to write the book, Caste, so she would have to accept the truth to commit to encouraging and motivating herself.
With acceptance comes the ability to choose your response to a painful situation at hand. :Acceptance allows you to see what is happening with greater clarity, to see not only where you are in the picture, but the bigger picture as well. Acceptance offers you the option of considering all of the possible pathways through inner guidance.This, then allows you to consider what aligns you with what is most beneficial, energizing and life-enhancing in the given circumstances, and to choose a path with discernment, self-care, with compassion for yourself and others with your true values.
“Looking beneath the history of one’s country is like learning that alcoholism or depression runs in one’s family or that suicide has occurred more often than might be usual or, with the advances of medical genetics, discovering that one has inherited the markers of BRCA mutation for breast cancer. You don’t ball up in the corner with guilt or shame at these discoveries. You don’t if you’re wise, forbid any mention of them. In fact you do the opposite. You educate yourself.”
~Isabel Wilkerson, Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents
The Origins of Collective Pain
The book and film address the origin of caste systems that regulate hierarchy and racisim across the planet, and addresses the material as both a place that separates us from ourselves and each other across the world.The research for her book led her to rely on the examples from history still existing in the world today. She sought out stories of people who rebelled against opression and shined a light on the truth of heirarchy and oppression from the past histories of slavery in the United States, the rise of Hitler and the Holocaust and the Caste System of India.. She studied researchers and leaders deemed the “lowest caste”who nevertheless stood up to advocate for freedom, social justice and human rights.
“Caste is insidious and therefore powerful because it is not hatred, it is not necessarily personal. It is the worn grooves of comforting routines and unthinking expectations, patterns of a social order that have been in place for so long that it looks like the natural order of things.”~Isabel Wilkerson, Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents
Many people today still carry the burden of patterns from the past. According to Family Systems, 80% of our family material is unconscious.We see this when groups of people still live out historical separations whether this be religious, racial, social status, money or resource-based, gender, language, territory, age, etc.
The collective pain that continues to show up today shows up in war, the response to climate change, the pandemic and mass refugee and immigration issues. The victim-perpetrator cycle is the reflection of personal and global pain that have not yet been healed.
Each one of us has a story that includes pain. Where there has been loss, grief, fear, physical injury, abuse, trauma or unresolved hurt there is a message that needs to experience the truth. This happens with the acknowledgement of unmet life needs and meaning for you today from the injury that created separation from all of the parts of yourself, or blocked your connection to others whether it originated in your own life or those of your ancestors.
Using Origins of Pain to Create New Pathways
‘Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedom~to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.’ ~Viktor E.Frankl
It is a personal journey. Willingness is a factor that contributes to your thinking, feeling, and beliefs about what you are facing. Taking care of yourself is primary when you want to move in a new direction. This is based on a point of choice for the journey with checkpoints that remind you of your positive intentions based on new possibilities. Motivation follows as you experience greater awareness. This creates hope paired with any positive actions. as you choose your own way.
It is the kindred connection from a place of deep knowing that opens your spirit to the pain of another as they perceive it.~Isabel Wilkerson
Resonance Repatterning® works with personal and generational pain related to trauma stored within from your life as well as lifetimes of victim-perpetrator cycles. Sessions identify origins of pain in your unconscious material. Working with personal and generational patterns creates restoration of optimal life energy flow within your physical, emotional, mental and spirit parts.
This allows you to create a new vision for your own life with greater coherence, author-ship and life enhancing patterns to end the victim-perpetrator cycles. With freed energy available, this empowers your ability to live and communicate your truth in action. As a result, seeing and reclaiming more of your Self, you are better able to see others more fully with greater compassion and understanding. This empowers the possibility for postive personal and collective change in healing the origins of pain.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, by phone, in-person, and by proxy.
Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.
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Creating Coherence in Your Relationships
Creating coherence in relationships from the Resonance Repatterning perspective involves working with consciousness science. Sessions addresses different aspects of your life from interactions wih aquaintances, family, friends and intimate relationships. The quality of your experience is regulated by your beliefs, attitudes, and thoughts you hold at both the conscious and unconscious levels. This contributes to your perception, choices, reactions and actions over time.
Resonance Repatterning® works to increase the quality and coherence of your responses and actions with all types of relationship you encounter in your life. In the Energetics of Relationship collection of repatterning processes it is possible to work with charged issues you experience with a aquaintence or colleague. You can address challenging situtations you experience with a physical, emotional, mental friendship, or even with a spiritual or therapeutic relationship.
Your family relationships can be considered in your mothering, fathering, and child interactions, It is a beneficial process for working with couples in sexual and commited relationships. By working with birth, early attachment and family patterns, a session can identify any bonding or separation negative experiences that cast a shadow over your current relationships. It is by working in the present and with the patterns of your lifetime relationships that you can step into a new way of being in relationship as you free yourself from the pain of abandonment, disloyaliy, abuse, grief, fear or resentment.
Consciousness Science and Relationships
Creating coherence in your relationships in Resonance Repatterning is based on consciousness science. On source of the repatterning process is based on the Gottman’s research of relationship and family interactions over many decades. They found that five positive interactions for every one challenging interaction created the greatest success and longevity in relationships. This means five interactions with relaxing, constructive, loving, laughter-filled, eye-gazing, fun, touching and happy interactions balance out every one challenging, bond-threatening, irritating, or frustrating interaction.
It is not the conflict as much as how you resolve conflict that matters in this formula. It is how each person creates greater personal and relationship coherence. This can happen by taking a pause, giving yourself time and space to be better able to get in touch with what is happening within you, to identify your triggers, unmet needs, and to identify what action or communication is needed. .During this time you get in touch with the charged issue that is within you. This can lead to both personal and relationship understanding, mutual growth, and contribute to the vision for your relationship with love.
With the process of Resonance Repatterning, it is possible to transform inner conflict by taking a look at your primary conflict resolution style, and to identify where you feel you are not speaking your truth, or not living your truth in action. Working with the resistance with any type of interaction you are experiencing allows you to identify your values, take a look at your intentions, and realign with your true self.
The Discovery Process with Relationships
By creating coherence in your communication you can experience greater capacity for making positive change. Knowing more about yourself can also give clues as to how your partner, friend or colleague reacts or responds to you in conversation and this would allow you to better understand their responses.
You can discover what your true values are for relationships, as well as how to apply your values to bonding and self-care that work best for you. People who have experienced difficult relationships in the past might still be triggered by them in the present. In these cases, it is important to work with releasing the burden that is still carried from negative earlier experiences to be able to move into new possibilitie for creating coherence in your relationships.
Resonance Repatterning sessions work with creating inner safety in relationships by transforming suppressed negative relationship imprinted images that trigger them from the past that hold the blockage to being in the present more fully. Other repatternings in this group of Energetics of Relationship session work with developmental phases that support more coherence in the process of forming loving and bonding relationships.
Identifying what keeps you separated from love allows you to choose a new direction that creates greater wellness and well-being for your life. This harmony and balance contributes to the coherent loving energy in your relationships.
This is your personal invitation to experience the benefits of Resonance Repatterning to heal relationships in your life. Through the process of working with resonance muscle-checking, your body-mind-spirit system reports what is most needed to build coherence in your body-mind-spirit system. You can schedule an appointment here.
Kimberly Rex, MS is an Advanced Resonance Repatterning® practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Wellness and Well-being Life Coach. She works with people all over the world via Skype, by phone, in-person, and by proxy.
Find out how Resonance Repatterning benefits your life. Set up a personal session or sign up for a free monthly newsletter with articles, natural healing modalities, and exclusive group sessions here.
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